Origins
by cmfanbex
Summary: A serial murder case takes JJ and the team back to East Allegheny.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is the first time I have started uploading a fic without having a definite plan as to where it is going to head, so you may need to be patient with me. I have a general idea about what this is about, but may take longer than usual in updating whilst I decide what to do!**

**Foxyfeline has requested that I include some more Morgan/JJ moments, which I do plan to do and I will also include my usual JJ/Emily friendship scenes. Other than that, it's in the hands of the gods!**

**Here goes...**

ORIGINS

Chapter 1

"Come in" Hotch said, looking up from the files that he had been reading when he had heard the knock on his door. He smiled as he saw JJ walk into the room carrying one file in her hands.

"Is that our next case?" he asked, holding his hand out for the file.

"I think so" JJ said, sounding unsure. When Hotch looked up at her again he saw that she looked uncharacteristically nervous.

"You think so?" he questioned, indicating that she should sit down.

"I'm pretty sure we need to get involved" she said worriedly as she sat down, "but I wanted to check with you before I went any further."

"You sound concerned" he said, taking the file and opening it.

As he read the first page he immediately understood. The case involved a number of deaths and would be taking them to JJ's hometown, East Allegheny. "Aah ... I see" he said. "It's personal?"

"I just want to be sure that I'm choosing the case for the right reasons" she said, avoiding the question. "Not just because it's my hometown."

"I understand" he responded, looking up from the file. "Do you want to come back in 10 minutes when I've had time to read the file properly?"

"I'd rather wait here" she said, sounding nervous again. "There are some reasons why it may be personal, but you need to read the whole file before I can explain them to you."

He looked at her, feeling some concern at her nervousness – it was so unlike her. Without speaking he looked down and began to read through the file. He quickly noted that there were three victims so far, all of whom had either lived or worked in East Allegheny.

"Did you know the victims?" he asked gently.

"It's a small place Hotch" she said, with some exasperation in her voice. "The third victim must have moved into the area since I left, but I did know the first two... to a certain extent. The second victim was a couple of years above me at school. I knew her to say Hi, but nothing more. The first victim – Jacob Friedman – was my High School History teacher."

He could hear emotion in her voice when she spoke about the first victim, but didn't make any comment, choosing instead to turn back to the file. He quickly realised that JJ had been correct in her assessment that this was a BAU case. The three victims had all been reported missing in the last month and the bodies had all been dumped within 24 hours of the alarm being raised. All three bodies had been dumped outside the local UPS store, with "RETURN TO COUNTRY OF ORIGIN" burnt into their backs. The branding, along with some serious beating, had all happened in the hours leading to death. All three victims had belonged to different ethnic groups; Jacob Friedman had been Jewish, the second victim – Tina Yau – had been of Asian descent and the third victim – Jessie Moore – had been African-American. This, coupled with the branding, strongly indicated a racial motivation to the murders.

"You were right" Hotch said, looking up at JJ. "It's definitely a BAU case."

He expected to see her show some relief at this, but JJ merely nodded, still looking worried.

"There's something you're not saying" he challenged her. "Jacob Friedman ... was he just your teacher?"

JJ sighed and shook her head. "I had a really ... difficult relationship with my Dad when I was in High School. Mr Friedman was so supportive. He ... helped me make sense of some things that were worrying me. There was nothing more than that – nothing inappropriate – but he was very important to me."

JJ was clearly struggling to keep her emotions in check as she spoke.

"Do you want to work from Quantico on this one?" he asked.

JJ shook her head. "No. I think I need to be there" she said, "personally and professionally. With the racial aspect, this is going to be big news. If you're happy for me to be involved, I think I need to be with you."

"Of course I'm happy for you to be involved" Hotch said, slightly confused.

"There is something else that I need to tell you" JJ said, looking very uncomfortable. "It might not be relevant at all, but it could be important and I don't want us to get to East Allegheny and for you to find this out later, if it is relevant, you know?"

She was babbling, obviously nervous.

"Just spit it out JJ" Hotch said, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's about my Father" she started quietly.

**Sorry it's so short, but I didn't want to give too much away in the first chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Will is not around in this story. You may find it useful to read my previous fic about JJ and Will's relationship – 'I can't lose him' as this will impact on this fic later on.**

Chapter 2

Morgan sat in the briefing room with Rossi, Prentiss, Reid and Garcia. They had been waiting there for ten minutes now and he was starting to get impatient. Just as he was about to suggest that someone go searching for Hotch and JJ, they both walked through the door. Hotch was hovering protectively behind JJ who was studiously avoiding eye contact with them all. She wordlessly distributed files to each team member, all of whom were now looking at each other in concern. JJ clicked a button and three pictures were displayed on the screen which dominated one end of the room.

"Jacob Friedman, 49 was reported missing by his wife on 22nd April. His body was dumped outside a UPS store just under 24 hours later. Tina Yau, 33 went missing on 1st May. Her body was dumped at the same store, again 24 hours later. Jessie Moore, 21 went missing on 12th May. The details concerning her body were the same as the other two vics."

At this point JJ, who was still avoiding their gaze, changed the picture on the screen. Morgan winced and heard Garcia gasp at what they saw.

"All three victims had these words burnt into their backs" JJ explained, indicating the pictures on the screen.

Realising that JJ hadn't mentioned the location of the UPS store, Morgan looked to the first page of the file and immediately understood JJ's reaction to the case.

"East Allegheny?" he questioned, trying to catch her eye.

She nodded, still not looking at anyone. In fact, her whole demeanour screamed that she wanted them to leave this; to not make any comment. Recognising that Hotch would let them know if there was anything that they needed to be aware of, he made no comment, allowing JJ the time she needed to compose herself.

"Did the victims have any connection to each other?" Prentiss asked.

"It's a small town" JJ started to explain. "Jacob Friedman was a teacher at the local High School, so he would have taught both of the victims. They all used the same dentist, doctor etc. They had no close connections, but the nature of a small town means that they would have known of each other."

"There is a clear racial aspect to these crimes" Morgan mused. "What is the ethnic mix in East Allegheny?"

They all looked to JJ to answer this.

"I can't give any statistics" JJ started, inexplicably sounding nervous again, "but I can tell you that it is a predominantly white area. Certainly, the area that I grew up in was almost all white. There were very few people from different ethnic groups when I was growing up. There were maybe ... 3 families who weren't of European descent in my Primary School."

"Are there any active neo-Nazi groups in the area?" Reid asked.

Morgan watched as JJ visibly paled at this question and looked to Hotch, almost as if she was looking for support.

"I ... they ..." she stuttered. "I'm sorry Hotch ... I can't."

With this, she rushed out of the room, obviously heading for her office. Garcia stood up and looked to Hotch, who nodded, before following her out.

Rossi turned to Hotch. "It's personal?" he asked.

"It's complicated" Hotch returned.

"In what way?" Reid asked.

"Before I start" Hotch said, "you need to understand that JJ is absolutely terrified that you guys are going to judge her because of this. I've tried to make her understand that we won't, but I clearly didn't succeed."

"Judge her for what?" Morgan asked, slightly upset that JJ would think this of them ... of him!

"JJ naturally noted the racial aspect of these crimes as soon as she received the file" Hotch explained. "In answer to your earlier question Reid – there is an active neo-Nazi group in East Allegheny; an off-shoot of the Aryan Nations. JJ's Father was, and still is, a prominent member of the group. JJ told me that she was brought up to believe that all of the nation's problems could be linked to the end of slavery and immigration since then. It was only when she got to Junior High and, ultimately, High School that she was able to see that there were other opinions out there. This brings me to the other reason why JJ is so upset; Jacob Friedman was JJ's history teacher and one of the people who encouraged her to fight against her family's prejudices. This naturally caused alot of conflict between JJ and her Father and Mr Friedman seems to have supported her through quite a difficult time at home."

"Is she OK to work this case with us?" Prentiss asked, clearly worried for her friend.

"I suggested she stay here" Hotch said, "but she was very clear that she needed to be involved in this."

"I feel like there is something else" Morgan interjected, "... something more. Why is she so worried? We may have to speak to her Dad, but only to gather information. It's highly unlikely that he is out unsub."

"I think that is her fear" Hotch said. "She seems to think that he could be capable of something like this. She said that he always seemed to be so angry and ... aggressive. She hasn't seen him in nearly 17 years and she is worried that his views and his aggression may have escalated."

"17 years?" Rossi asked, clearly having worked out that this would have made JJ only 15 at the time.

"Mr Jareau kicked JJ out of the family home when he found out that she was dating a boy whose family had just moved into the area" Hotch explained. "He was black. JJ went to live with her aunt – her Mum's sister."

The team sat quietly as they took this information in. Morgan was really worried about JJ. He had become increasingly close to her since Will had left and was fiercely protective towards her. However close they had become though, she had never really talked about her childhood. It concerned Morgan that JJ would describe her Father as angry and aggressive. He worried about what she wasn't saying.

"Morgan?" Hotch interrupted his thoughts. "I think it would be good if you could go and check on JJ. She seemed most worried about how you would take this."

Morgan nodded and stood up, walking quickly out of the room. Whilst he could understand her concern, he needed her to understand that nothing he had heard could ever change his opinion of her. He walked up to JJ's office and knocked on the door.

At JJ's invitation, he opened the door and was relieved to see that Garcia had been weaving her magic. Although JJ had clearly been crying, she had stopped now and even had a small smile on her face. A smile which disappeared, however, when he moved into the room. Without speaking Garcia walked out of the room, reassuringly patting her friend on the knee as she stood. Morgan took her seat on the small couch, next to JJ.

"Hey" he said, gently taking her hand. "I'm sorry about your teacher."

"Thanks" she said quietly, resolutely looking at her lap and avoiding his gaze.

"Jayje" he implored, "Don't do this."

"Do what?" JJ asked, still not looking up.

"Don't shut me out" he answered, gently pushing her chin up so that she was looking at him. "Please don't beat yourself up over this. No-one is going to judge you because of something your Dad believes, or something that he has done. You can't help that – it has got nothing to do with you."

"It's not just about him" she said, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. "It's about me. Up until I was 12, that was what I believed; how I acted."

"JJ ... girl" he chided. "You can't help any of that. You were a kid. You were brought up to believe in those things. At that age it would have been impossible for you to see any other way to be."

"But ..." JJ interjected.

"But nothing JJ" he said firmly. "Damn it girl. It's a miracle that you managed to fight against it at all. The fact that you are who you are now is frankly amazing. You must understand how difficult it is for a child to go against their parents on something as ... vital as this. Hell! What am I saying? You lived it! I'd like to bet that your Dad didn't react well when you started to question him."

JJ's eyes clouded slightly as she shook her head in response.

"You had to really fight to become the person that you are today" he said earnestly. "Most people are brought up believing that everyone is equal; it's natural for them. The fact that you had to fight so hard for that belief, just makes it that much more valuable."

As he finished talking, he looked JJ straight in the eye, immediately pulling her into a hug when he saw the tears streaming down her face. After a few minutes she pulled back from him, impatiently wiping at the tears.

"Thanks" she said softly.

"No problem girl" he answered,

They both sat quietly for a few minutes as JJ pulled herself together. Morgan was deep in thought. He was worried about JJ. The case was already breaking her and they hadn't even started yet. He was concerned that travelling to East Allegheny was only going to bring up even more unpleasant memories for her.

"JJ" he started carefully, wanting to make his point, but not wanting to push JJ any further than she could deal with. "Are you sure you want to join us on this case? Especially if you think that your Dad could be involved."

"I don't know whether he is involved" JJ said, finally looking him in the eye, "but I need to know ... either way. I need to be there."

"OK" he accepted, thinking for a moment before continuing. "Do you really think that he is capable of something like this?"

"I really don't know" JJ said. "I hope not, but ... I haven't seen him for nearly 17 years and he was always quite ... aggressive."

"By aggressive, do you mean violent?" Morgan asked, needing to understand just how traumatic this case could get for JJ.

"Please don't go there" JJ said gravely.

"Go where?" he said, trying to sound innocent.

"Please Derek" she said, tears pooling in her eyes once again. "Not now."

Morgan nodded, recognising that he had pushed her as far as she was prepared to go, for now. He did feel however, that she had just indirectly given him the answer to his question, and that really worried him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Emily sat in a diner in East Allegheny with the rest of her team, waiting for their meals to arrive. By the time they had made it to the town, they barely had time to settle into the local PD before they had rushed to the closest diner to have a late meal. As Emily looked around the table she was happy to see that JJ had begun to come out of herself and was smiling and laughing at something that Reid had said. JJ had spent the entire journey to Pennsylvania sat at the back of the plane in complete silence and Emily had started to worry that she had made the wrong decision in joining the team on this case. Emily looked a little closer at her friend and could still detect slight tension in her face, although she was hiding it well.

Just as the food had arrived and they had begun to eat, Emily heard the door to the diner slam and watched as the colour visibly drained from JJ's face. When she turned to see what had upset JJ so much she saw an older couple – in their late 50s to early 60s probably. The woman couldn't be anyone other than JJ's mother; the blonde (although greying) hair, blue eyes and facial features being almost identical to her friend. The woman's demeanour, however, couldn't have been any further from JJ's normal confident and bubbly nature. She walked at least 2 metres behind the man Emily assumed to be JJ's father and did everything she could to make herself invisible. The man strolled arrogantly over to their table and stood to the side of his daughter, ignoring the rest of the team.

"Do you want to explain to me why I had to find out from a stranger that my daughter was back in town?" he snarled.

"I haven't spoken to you in over 15 years" JJ answered calmly, although Emily could see that she was struggling to stay in control. "I had no reason to speak to you now."

"It was embarrassing Jennifer" he said as if she hadn't said a thing. "You have embarrassed me...yet again."

"I've embarrassed you?" she said, raising her voice. "You don't need me to embarrass you. You're doing a damn good job of that yourself."

"Don't you dare speak to me like that" he bellowed. "I didn't accept it when you were a child and I won't accept it now. It's no wonder that man of yours left if you gave him this kind of attitude."

Before JJ could answer, Morgan had stood up, practically pushing his chair over.

"How dare you speak to her like that" he said, the veins bulging in his neck.

Mr Jareau looked Morgan up and down with contempt before turning back to JJ.

"I came here to talk to you" he said disdainfully, "not your guard dog."

Emily could see Morgan bristling, but JJ calmly grabbed his hand and pulled him down. She looked at him, shaking her head and keeping hold of his hand.

"I made it clear when I was 15 that I didn't want to talk to you" she said, turning to her father. "Nothing has changed."

Mr Jareau looked in disgust at JJ's hand on Morgan's arm.

"Obviously" he spat, before storming out of the diner, with his wife following behind.

The entire diner was silent for a moment as the man slammed out of the building. As the rest of the customers went back to their conversations, Emily looked across the table at JJ. The blonde agent was even paler than usual and there were unshed tears in her eyes.

"I'm not hungry anymore" JJ said quietly, pulling her hand away from Morgan. She abruptly stood up and walked out of the diner.

Emily also stood up as JJ walked out.

"I've got this" she said to the rest of the team as she followed JJ out into the parking lot. When she got outside she saw with dismay that JJ had bumped into her parents. JJ was already screaming at her father.

"How did you even know about Will?" she was asking her father, although Emily could see her gaze flitting to her mother's face. "Did you beat it out of her?"

"If I did" Mr Jareau answered with chilling calm, "It was your fault. I told you to stay away from your mother. When you walked away, it was from the whole family."

"I didn't walk away" JJ was replying as Emily walked towards the group. "You kicked me out. Don't you dare try to lay the blame on me. If you hit her it's because she's the only person left that won't fight back. It's got nothing to do with me. It's all about you ... you hit her to make yourself feel powerful. It's pathetic."

Emily watched helplessly as Mr Jareau pulled back before slapping JJ around the face with brutal force, causing her to stumble backwards. Emily sped up, quickly covering the distance between the diner and the Jareau family and firmly placed herself between JJ and her father.

"Step back Mr Jareau" she said calmly. "You have just assaulted a federal agent."

"And what is she going to do about it?" he taunted. "Why don't you tell your friend what happened the last time you tried to report me Jennifer."

Emily turned to JJ and was shocked at the look of anger and defeat on her face.

"JJ?" she questioned.

"Just let him go" JJ said quietly.

Emily started to argue with her friend, but stopped when she saw the pleading look in JJ's eyes. Mr Jareau laughed as he and his wife got in their car. Emily seriously wanted to follow the guy and smack him, but took one look at JJ and realised where her priorities lay. The blonde agent was pissed; so pissed that she was in fact shaking. She was pacing back and forth in front of Emily, with her hands clenched at her side.

"JJ" Emily said gently, stepping in front of her friend and taking hold of one of her hands. JJ immediately pulled her hand away and continued to pace.

"Jayje" Emily said imploringly.

"I'm sorry Em" JJ said, finally standing still and looking her in the eye. "I just ... it just ... he just pushes all of my buttons, you know?"

"I know" Emily said softly, "which is why you need to make sure he doesn't think he can get away with it."

"It's not that simple Em" JJ said despairingly.

"Why?" Emily asked. "What makes it so complicated?"

"I can't do this now" JJ said tearfully. "I need some time on my own. I'm going to walk back to the hotel."

"Then let me come with you" Emily pleaded, desperate to do what she could to keep her friend safe.

"I'll be fine" JJ said. "I just need some time to be alone."

"Are you sure?" Emily asked doubtfully.

"Positive" JJ said, smiling slightly. "You go and enjoy your dinner. I'll see you later."

Emily stood in the parking lot and watched JJ disappear around a corner. She knew that the hotel was only a block away, but she couldn't help but worry for her friend. Equally she had to recognise that JJ was an adult and that she needed to be left to deal with the day's events in her own way. She sighed as she made her way back into the diner.

"Where is she?"Morgan asked before she had even sat down.

"She's gone back to the hotel" Emily answered, picking at her salad with complete disinterest.

"Is she OK?" Reid asked.

She sighed and put her fork down. The rest of the team had finished their food and she really couldn't bring herself to bother with her own.

"He hit her – in the parking lot" she said simply, bracing herself for the reaction.

"He what?" Morgan stormed. "Why aren't you out there Miranda-izing his ass?"

"JJ asked me to leave it" Emily explained. "I might not agree with her decision, but there was clearly a reason for it, so I've left it ... for now."

Obviously recognising the meaning behind her words, Morgan calmed slightly and they all left the diner, Hotch having paid for the food already. They walked the short distance to the hotel, talking quietly amongst themselves about the case. Once they reached the corridor which contained their rooms, they began to split off. Hotch and Rossi had their own rooms whilst Morgan and Reid were sharing and Emily would be sharing with JJ. Before Morgan followed Reid into their room he put his hand on Emily's shoulder, turning her to face him.

"If you need any help" he said earnestly, "you know where I am."

Emily nodded thankfully before unlocking the door to her room and stepping inside. As she closed the door behind her she could see that JJ wasn't in the room itself, but could hear the shower running in the small bathroom. She quickly got herself ready for bed, deciding to shower in the morning. She was sat on the bed when JJ walked out of the bathroom, also ready for bed. Without her make up on Emily could see the exhaustion on her friend's face and the bruise already starting to form on her cheek. She smiled at her friend as she slowly walked over to sit beside her.

"I'm sorry about earlier" JJ said, looking down at her hands which were resting on her lap. "I couldn't talk to you then. I was just so angry and ... embarrassed."

"You have no reason to be embarrassed JJ" Emily said softly.

"I know what you were thinking ... are thinking" JJ said. "You can't understand why I'm letting him get away with this. You think I should have had him arrested. I understand why you think that – I do, but I can't. I just can't."

"Why not JJ?" Emily asked. "Help me to understand."

JJ said nothing, continuing to stare at her hands.

"Talk to me Jayje" Emily said gravely.

JJ sighed. "You've probably guessed that Dad can be ... violent" she started to explain. "He's always been like that, as long as I can remember. When I was young Mum got the brunt of it – he didn't hit me. Up until I started at Junior High I was everything he wanted in a child – blonde hair, blue eyes, pretty. God, I was practically the poster child for the Aryan Nations."

JJ said all of this without once looking up, still staring at her hands which were fidgeting in her lap.

"When I got to Junior High, he had less control over where I was and who I was with" JJ explained, "and I started to question everything that I was hearing at home. The more I learnt, from my teachers and my new friends, the more I began to realise that his ideas were just ... wrong, and I wasn't shy about telling him, in the beginning. Whenever he started to feel like he was losing an argument he would hit me; nothing serious, just the odd slap, you know?"

Emily opened her mouth to speak, but JJ continued without letting her.

"I know it wasn't OK" JJ said quickly, "but when you grow up seeing your Mom being used as a punching bag, being slapped occasionally doesn't seem all that bad. As I got older and moved on to High School I got much more opinionated, and he got more violent. He was careful not to leave any marks, but it quickly got to a point where I learnt to stay quiet and to stay out of his way. Sometimes though, I just couldn't help myself"

JJ had started to cry at this point, obviously reliving a difficult memory. Emily moved closer to her friend and put an arm around her shoulders.

"One day, when I was about 14, I came down to breakfast" JJ explained, "and he was holding forth about Charlie's family. Charlie and his family had just moved into the neighbourhood – they were black. I had just started dating Charlie. Dad obviously didn't know anything about that. He was talking about them like they were animals and I just lost it. I screamed every insult I could think of at him – told him he was ignorant and stupid. He went completely mad and just started hitting me and punching me and pushing me. Mum pulled him off me and he started on her and I just ran out of the house and went to school. I ran into Mr Friedman straight away and took one look at me and took me to the hospital. I had two black eyes, a split lip and a broken rib."

Emily couldn't help but gasp at this, but didn't speak, not wanting to interrupt JJ's story.

"Between Mr Friedman and the nurse who treated me" JJ said, her tears having subsided slightly, "they managed to convince me to go to the police. When I got to the station I spoke to a deputy to start with and he was lovely, but then the chief saw that I was there and he took over. He was a friend of my Dad's and he made the whole experience so ... painful. He refused to let Mr Friedman stay with me and kept asking me leading questions; trying to get me to change my story. When I'd finished there I was exhausted and scared. I couldn't go home, so I went to my aunt's place. She was furious – she was going to go back to the station the next day and make a formal complaint, but then Mom came round to see me."

JJ paused for a moment and Emily could see that she struggling to hold it together.

"He'd beaten her so badly that she could barely walk" JJ said, her voice breaking. "She begged me to drop the charges and come back home. She said that he had told her that she would be the one to suffer if I didn't. I couldn't let that happen Em. I couldn't let her suffer because of me."

JJ broke down and sobbed. Emily pulled her friend into a hug and rubbed her back, whispering comforting words.

"You were 14 years old Jayje and you had done nothing wrong" she said. "None of this was your fault."

After a few minutes JJ had managed to calm herself down enough to pull back and continue telling her story.

"I dropped the charges and went to live back home" she said shakily. "I spent 6 months living there, but being in that house was just so ... hard. In the end I spent as much time as I could out of the house. I went to every soccer practice, homework club, football match; I stayed at Charlie's place as much as possible, although I had to keep that quiet, obviously. I did everything I could to avoid seeing him or having to speak to him, but then one of his friends saw me and Charlie together and told him about it. When I got home he was waiting for me and ... well, I you can probably guess how he took that."

"How bad JJ?" Emily asked, still rubbing JJ's back.

"A mild concussion, another broken rib and a broken wrist" JJ said, listing the injuries clinically. "Then he set me an ultimatum – live my life as he wanted or leave and never see either him or Mom again. I loved Mom, but I couldn't live through that again, so I went to live with my aunt."

"Oh Jayje" Emily said. "I'm so sorry."

"When Will hit me" JJ said, "I almost didn't press charges, but then I realised that I really couldn't end up like my mother. I've tried to get her to leave, to come and live with me, but she says she loves him."

"Why don't you speak to her tomorrow" Emily suggested, "face to face. If you press charges against your Dad you would have time to really talk to her."

"Maybe" JJ said tiredly. "Let me think about it."

Accepting that that was as much as she could expect from JJ tonight and noticing that her friend was starting to flag, Emily suggested that they both go to bed and get some rest. JJ quickly agreed and settled down on her bed, facing away from Emily. Emily used the bathroom before turning off the light and getting into bed herself. She lay awake for some time, thinking about everything that JJ had told her, but eventually dropped into a heavy sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I obviously started to write this fic before I watched 'Risky Business'. Now I can't quite decide whether to carry on regardless and pretend it never happened or to write the events of the episode into my story. I think I can make both options work out. Any preferences?**

Chapter 4

Despite having gone to bed at 11pm, Derek Morgan was still wide awake and restless at 3 o'clock the next morning. Given the job he did he was used to not sleeping enough, but that was generally because he was up and working. He was most definitely not used to lying in bed tossing and turning like this, meaning he was getting beyond frustrated. He knew why he wasn't sleeping. He was worried sick about JJ; the fact that she hadn't pressed charges against her father last night told him more than he wanted to know about her childhood. As well as being worried, he was furious at how the man had treated both JJ and himself.

Quickly realising that he wasn't anywhere near sleeping, he decided to get up and go down to the gym that he had been pleased to see when he had arrived at the hotel earlier. He dressed in the dark, not wanting to wake Reid, and made his way down to the main desk where he asked the night porter for the keys to the gym.

"No need" the porter said. "Do you FBI agents not sleep?"

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked, confused.

"Agent Jareau is already working out" the porter replied, checking his watch. "Has been for nearly 2 ½ hours now."

Morgan thanked the man, seriously hoping that JJ hadn't actually been working out for 2 ½ hours and that she had merely been looking for somewhere to be alone. He knew her well enough to know that she tended to take things to the extreme, especially when she was upset. If she had genuinely been working out for that amount of time, given that she had barely eaten the day before, she would be near to collapse by now.

His fears were immediately realised when he walked into the gym and saw JJ in the corner of the room where she appeared to be attempting to beat the stuffing out of a punch bag. He didn't know how long she had been at this, but he could see that she was pushing her body beyond its normal limits. She was panting heavily and her hair was plastered to her head with the sweat which was pouring out of her. Whilst not doubting that her punches had held some major force when she had started, he could see that she was barely making contact with the bag now.

As he watched she stopped punching and leant into the bag before her body gave out and she collapsed to her knees. He quickly ran over, kneeling beside her.

"JJ, what are doing to yourself?" he chided softly. "Can you stand up?"

JJ nodded, not able to talk as she tried to catch her breath. Morgan put an arm around her shoulders and helped her to stand before leading her over to a bench at the back of the room. He gently lowered her down on the bench and sat down next to her, keeping a supportive arm around her back.

"Tell me you haven't been doing that the whole time you've been down here" he said, worried at the unnatural pallor of JJ's face, a stark contrast to the angry looking bruise on her cheek.

JJ shook her head. "I started on the treadmill" she said, still panting slightly.

As JJ tiredly leant forward and rested her head in her hands, Morgan walked over to the side of the room to collect a cup of water. On the way back he checked the stats still being displayed on the treadmill.

"Shit girl" he exclaimed, passing her the water. "You ran like 12 miles in an hour and a half. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"I couldn't sleep" JJ explained. "I was so ... angry. I just needed to work off some of the frustration ... I guess I took it a bit far."

"A bit far?" Morgan questioned incredulously. "You're going to be in agony tomorrow!"

JJ shrugged helplessly. "It helps me to think" she said simply.

"What did you need to think about?" he asked gently.

JJ sighed quietly. "Emily thinks I should press charges" she said, indicating the bruise on her cheek.

Morgan didn't say anything, secretly wondering why JJ wouldn't want to press charges, but not wanting to upset her.

"I know what you're thinking" JJ said, "but it's not as simple as it sounds."

"I'm sure it's not" Morgan replied reassuringly. "Why don't you tell me why? A problem shared..."

"When I was 14 I did report him for ... hitting me" JJ explained. "He beat my Mom so badly she could barely stand up straight. He made it perfectly clear that she would suffer if I went to the police again."

Morgan's mind was working fast as he registered what his friend was telling him. Even without any detail, it nearly killed him to think of what JJ had gone through as a teenager.

"You can't hold yourself responsible for your Mom's safety Jayje" he said, rubbing her back. "She could leave if she wanted to."

"You make it sound so simple" JJ scoffed angrily, shrugging away from him.

"I'm sorry" he said. "I didn't mean to trivialise it. I know it's not that easy, but he's not going to stop hurting her if someone doesn't show him that he can't get away with it."

"Do you think I haven't tried?" JJ said bitterly. "If I thought reporting him would end this I would have done it years ago, but he's good. He'd get away with it and she'd take him back. She always takes him back. He'd kill her Derek ... I know he would."

She was crying now, so he pulled her into a hug.

"I've tried to convince her to leave" JJ sobbed, "But she says she loves him."

He let her cry as he sat thinking; trying ... and failing ... to find a way to help her.

"Emily thinks that I might be able to convince her if I speak to her face-to-face" JJ continued, slightly calmer now, "but I'd need to have him arrested so that I could get her away from him."

"Do you think it will work?" he asked hopefully.

JJ shrugged. "I'm starting to think that it's worth a try" she said. "I can't let things carry on like this anymore."

"That sounds like a decision to me" Morgan said. Then, as JJ nodded, "Now, how about we get you upstairs so you can get some sleep?"

JJ nodded, looking exhausted. She stood up stiffly, having to lean on him quite heavily.

"You need to take a hot shower before you sleep" Morgan warned, "or you literally won't be able to move tomorrow."

"I don't want to wake Emily" she protested weakly, the events of the day clearly catching up with her again.

"I'm sure she won't mind" Morgan reassured her, helping her out of the gym and into the elevator.

When the elevator reached their floor they silently made their way towards JJ's room. Morgan took her key card from her and quietly opened the door, helping her inside. He turned the light on, not wanting to wake Emily, but realising that he would need her help. JJ immediately went over to her bed and lay down, closing her eyes.

"Nuh uh baby girl" he said, kneeling by the bed. "You need to have a shower."

"What the hell is going on?" he heard Emily ask sleepily. "JJ? What happened?"

Coming round quickly (something he had always envied her for) Emily came and stood beside him as he tried to keep JJ awake.

"She's overdone it in the gym" Morgan explained quickly. "We need to get her in the shower before she goes to sleep. She'll seize up otherwise."

Not asking any questions, Emily stood up and walked into the bathroom. He heard her turn on the shower before she came back into the room.

"JJ" she said firmly. "You need to get out of those clothes and into the shower."

JJ groaned and whined in reply, but didn't move.

"If you don't get those clothes off" Emily threatened, "I'll take them off for you."

Morgan had to stifle a laugh when he saw JJ's eyes open wide in horror before she sat up and reluctantly began to undo her shoes.

"I think that this is where I take my leave" he said, sidling to the door and opening it.

"Derek" he heard JJ say as he went to step out. He turned to look at her. "Thanks" she said softly.

"No problem" he said before quietly closing the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Sorry for the long wait on this one. I've had the week from hell this week and didn't get a chance to work on this until today. I've also really struggled with how to write this chapter, so would really appreciate hearing your opinions on it!**

Chapter 5

JJ was woken the next morning by Emily gently shaking her shoulder. As she slowly pulled herself out of the deep sleep that she had collapsed into, she began to feel the effects of her late night gym visit. She actually felt like she had been hit by a truck; her head was pounding and she was sure she had pulled pretty much every muscle in her body. She turned on to her back and groaned in pain as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning sunshine" Emily said lightly, although JJ could detect a hint of concern that her friend was trying to hide. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've got the world's worst hangover" JJ whined, squinting at her friend.

"That's not fair" Emily joked; "a hangover without the fun that normally goes with it."

JJ smiled slightly, slowly sliding her body up the bed so she was leant against the headboard. Her smile widened when she saw that Emily was holding out a glass of water and some painkillers.

"Thanks" she said, gratefully popping the pills into her mouth and gulping down the whole glass of water.

"We're meeting for breakfast in 20 minutes" Emily said, sitting on the edge of JJ's bed, "so if you want to come with us you need to get moving. I'm sure that Hotch wouldn't mind if you wanted to join us later though."

"I'm fine" JJ said as she slowly got out of bed, trying to hide the pain that each movement caused. "I need to come in with you guys this morning. I'm going to tell Hotch that I want someone to bring Dad in."

"You're going to press charges?" Emily asked.

JJ merely nodded in reply, not trusting herself to talk about it. She knew she had made the right decision in pressing charges against her father, but was really worried about the possible consequences. If she couldn't convince her Mom to leave East Allegheny, then she knew that her Dad would take all of his anger out on his wife and she didn't know if she could cope with the guilt of knowing that she would be the cause of her suffering. She was also worried about some of the secrets that might be exposed if her friends spoke to either of her parents, which they would have to do if she pressed charges. She had been pretty honest with both Emily and Derek, but there was still one part of the story that she desperately wanted to keep to herself; not through shame, but because it was something that was both painful and extremely personal to her. She had shared some of it with Hotch because it had felt like something they had both needed at the time, but even then she hadn't told him much. She wasn't sure if she could handle dredging up some of those emotions again, even with the people that she trusted implicitly to support her.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you OK Jayje?" she heard Emily ask. "You zoned out for a minute there."

Pulling herself back to reality, she smiled at her friend and reassured her that she was fine, before walking past her into the bathroom. Realising that she wouldn't have time for a shower, she brushed her teeth and quickly washed herself before turning her attention to making herself look a little less like she hadn't had any sleep in a week. Her hair was a lost cause; having been washed twice the previous night and then slept on wet, so she slicked it back into a ponytail. She spent 5 minutes applying makeup, in an attempt to hide the bags under her eyes and walked back into the room to change. Emily had obviously already gone down to breakfast, so thankfully wasn't around to see JJ struggle painfully into her clothes. She finally limped into the breakfast room about 30 minutes after Emily had woken her. She slowly lowered herself into the one empty chair, glaring at Morgan when he chuckled at her obvious discomfort.

"That bad?" he said, obviously trying to sound sympathetic.

She merely continued to glare at him, while buttering her toast.

"Did I miss something?" Reid asked, looking confused.

"No" JJ said firmly. "Morgan is just finding it ridiculously amusing that I may have pulled a few muscles at the gym last night."

Morgan spluttered on his coffee.

"A few muscles?" he said incredulously. "I'm surprised you even made it out of bed this morning, the state you were in when you finished."

"Are you OK JJ?" Hotch asked seriously.

"I'm fine" JJ said, giving Derek a pointed look, "just a bit achy. Nothing to worry about."

Morgan, obviously getting her point, put his hand up in a gesture of surrender and the team carried on with their breakfast. JJ could feel their eyes on her as she ate and, whilst she appreciated that they worried about her, she wished they could just leave it alone. After a few minutes the team went back to their own discussions, leaving JJ alone with her thoughts, which were unfortunately not happy ones.

JJ had barely finished half a piece of toast when the rest of the team began to stand up, making plans to meet up at local PD in 20 minutes. JJ reached out as they passed and caught Hotch's arm.

"Can I have a word Hotch?" she asked softly.

Hotch nodded, sitting down on the chair next to JJ as the rest of the team moved out of the room.

"I want to press charges against my father" she said without preamble.

"You're sure?" Hotch asked, looking thoughtful.

JJ nodded. "I spoke to Emily and Derek last night and I think that this is what I need to do" she said.

"Do you have any preferences about who should interview him?" Hotch asked.

"Emily knows most of the background and she was there last night" JJ said, having already thought about this, "and I'd like you to be there as well. He needs someone who won't react to his bullshit."

Hotch nodded his agreement and stood up to leave. JJ attempted to join him and winced as her muscles protested. Hotch raised his eyebrows at her.

"I'm fine" she said firmly.

They walked in a companionable silence back out to the foyer where Emily was waiting to explain that the rest of the team had already left. The three of them walked out to their SUV. Once they got in the car Hotch explained to Emily about JJ's decision concerning the interview. As she half listened to them discussing strategy, JJ could feel herself getting more and more nervous about seeing her Mom. She had kept only irregular contact with her Mom since she had left home. Her Dad had made it impossible for them to speak to each other when her Mom was at home, so she could only speak on the phone if she was visiting her sister; JJ's aunt. These visits had become more and more rare over the last few years and JJ had spoken to her Mom only twice in the 18 months since Henry had been born. The conversations had been short and uncomfortable, with JJ struggling to fill the minutes with news about her life while her Mom barely offered a word. She was worried that she didn't have enough connection with her Mom to convince her to leave her home.

The car stopped and JJ tried to mentally shake herself out of her funk. Whatever else was happening in her life there was still a serial killer case for them to investigate. While Emily and Hotch were arresting her father, she needed to be able to join the rest of the team in working on this case. The three of them got out of the car and walked into the station, but while JJ walked towards the room that had been set aside for the team, Hotch and Emily went to talk to the Sheriff. When JJ entered the room, she naturally gravitated to the chair next to Derek.

"Where are Hotch and Prentiss going?" Reid asked.

"They need to talk to the Sheriff about charging my Dad" JJ answered quietly but firmly, hoping to discourage any questions.

"OK" Rossi said, clearly getting her message. "Let's get started on the profile."

"Definitely white, obviously" Derek started, while surreptitiously putting a comforting hand on JJ's arm. "The branding and body disposal were organised and clinical, suggesting that the unsub is at least 30."

"But, the heavy beating along with the physical effort involved in the disposal means that we are probably not looking at anyone over 50" Rossi said, looking at JJ as he spoke.

"Could it be a team?" JJ asked. The profile so far would suggest that her father wasn't a suspect, but she couldn't let go of the feeling that he may be involved somehow.

"I'll talk to the ME" Reid offered. "He should be able to tell us if the beating was consistent with one or more assailants."

They continued to talk through the information that they had on the crimes, slowly developing a profile, for a further 20 minutes. During that time JJ was pleased to feel that Derek didn't take his hand off of her arm, constantly offering support. Unfortunately this also meant that she was quickly aware when he tensed up. She turned her head to see what had upset him and tensed up herself when she saw Hotch and Emily leading her father through the station and into an interview room. He was clearly furious, shooting daggers from his eyes at every member of the PD who dared to look his way. His eyes eventually rested on her, containing so much hatred that it nearly took her breath away.

She stood when she saw that her terrified looking Mother had also been brought into the station. She smiled gratefully at Derek as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Would you come with me when I talk to her?" she asked him, hating that she sounded so needy, but needing his support desperately.

"Of course girl" he said. "Whatever you need."

JJ walked out of the side room they had been in, reassured by Derek's presence behind her.

"Mom" she said, walking up to her Mother and smiling her thanks at the deputy who had brought her in.

Without another word she led the trembling woman into an office that had been set aside for them to use. Derek followed them in and shut the door. He sat himself on a chair in the corner of the room whilst JJ and her Mother sat on a small couch along one side. JJ's Mom was the first to speak.

"What the hell have you done Jennifer?" she spat and JJ quickly realised that the trembling, which she had attributed to fear, was actually anger.

"He hit me Mom" JJ said, trying to stay calm. "He needs to know that he can't get away with it."

"You know what will happen now" she answered. "Why are you letting this happen? How could you do this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you Mom" JJ replied, trying hard to resist the old feelings of guilt. "Nothing needs to happen to you. Dad hit **me** and I reported **him**. That shouldn't have any repercussions for you, and if it does ... that's not my fault ... it's his."

"You know that's not how it is" her Mom replied, sounding desperate.

"It's how it should be" JJ said firmly. "It's how is can be, if you'd only let me take you home with me. Come and live with me and Henry in DC Mom, please."

"I can't do that" the older woman protested. "I can't just leave East Allegheny. My life is here."

"What life?" JJ spluttered, raising her voice as her emotions began to take over. "From what Aunt Kate tells me, you barely leave the house anymore and, when you do, there is always a new bruise on you. What sort of life is that?"

"It's my life!" JJ's Mom shouted. "He's my husband. I can't leave him."

"He beats you" JJ protested. "Why would you want to stay with him?"

"If he hits me ... sometimes" JJ's Mom said, "it's because he's unhappy. If he's unhappy, it's because the daughter that he worked his whole life to provide for; the little girl who he had so many plans for, threw it all back in his face."

"I left because I had no choice" JJ argued. "I couldn't live in fear anymore. I can't understand how you can live like it."

"If you had only followed his rules and lived your life as he wanted, you wouldn't have to had to live in fear" JJ's Mom said simply. "If only you had been more like your sister."

JJ stared incredulously at her Mother at this point, completely lost for words. She felt physically sick at the mention of her sister. She had never understood how her parents could insist that Maddie's death had been an accident. Nobody accidentally swallowed an entire packet of painkillers. Her parents had spent most of JJ's teenage years using Maddie as a weapon against her. Maddie had always followed her father's rules; had never argued or disagreed. Maddie had been the daughter they had always wanted. All that time JJ hadn't been able to say what she knew to be the truth; that Maddie had killed herself rather than live that life; and she still couldn't say it now. She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't get any words out. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes and she realised that she was fighting a losing battle. She wordlessly stood up and walked out of the room, the tears beginning to cascade down her cheeks. She could hear Derek calling her name, but she ran out of the station, desperate to find somewhere to be alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Massive apologies for taking so long to update this. Work has been an absolute nightmare recently and I just haven't had enough time/energy/motivation to keep writing! I am now in the middle of a weeklong break, however, so have taken some time out to carry on with this. Hope you enjoy it! **

Chapter 6

As Hotch and Prentiss waited for the local PD to bring Mr Jareau in for questioning, they quietly discussed interview strategy. Whenever the team worked away from DC they were technically categorised as being on duty 24/7, meaning that any assault – whether connected to the case or not – counted as assault on a federal agent. This meant that they had the right to charge and interview the suspect, even though the incident was unconnected to their case. Since there was no doubt that JJ's dad had assaulted her, they planned to use the time to see if they could gain some insight into their current case. Prentiss had brought Hotch up to date on what she now knew about JJ's childhood and he had briefly informed her of what he knew about her sister. He had nearly decided to keep that information to himself, but had realised that it could come out during the interview and didn't want Prentiss to be blindsided by it.

They had finalised their plans when they were informed that Mr Jareau was just arriving at the station. They both walked out of the door, arriving outside as two local officers were pulling the angry-looking man out of the car. They wordlessly took control of the situation, leading him into the station before settling him in an interview room. As per their earlier plan, they left him alone as they waited outside the room for 10 minutes, observing his reactions. As they were about to go back into the room they heard a door slam and both turned to see JJ rushing out of the station in tears, quickly followed by Morgan who was worriedly calling her name. Hotch saw Prentiss instinctively start to follow them both before obviously changing her mind and turning back, a scarily determined look in her eye.

"Let's do this" she said, putting her hand on the door knob.

He gently put a restraining hand on her arm.

"Take a minute" he said, recognising that her close friendship with JJ may be clouding her mind. "I need to know that your head is totally in this. If he knows that you are affected by this, he'll take full advantage."

"I know that" she said firmly. "I'm ready."

She opened the door and walked into the small interview room, sitting down opposite Mr Jareau. Hotch followed her, closing the door behind him and sitting beside her. They both sat silently to begin with, slowly taking in the appearance of the man who had made JJ's childhood so painful. Hotch could see much of his own father in the man – he was heavy set and, to the untrained eye, seemed physically intimidating. It was clear on closer inspection however, that what could be mistaken for muscle was actually flab. The man's expression, focused on them as he attempted to stare them down, was both arrogant and indignant. He was clearly used to being treated with nothing but fear and respect. Getting neither from Hotch and Prentiss, he eventually looked away uncomfortably, confirming their profile of him; a profile which they would now use against him.

"Do you understand why you are here Mr Jareau?" Prentiss asked.

"I do" Mr Jareau answered curtly, directing his answer at Hotch. "I've been arrested for disciplining my daughter."

"Your daughter is a 32 year old federal agent Mr Jareau" Hotch said firmly, struggling to keep his cool. "You have been arrested for assaulting a federal officer."

Mr Jareau merely shrugged, infuriating Hotch further.

"Have you been told that you have the right to request a lawyer?" Prentiss asked calmly, although Hotch could see her hands clenched into fists on her lap.

"I have" Mr Jareau answered, "but since you witnessed me hitting her, I don't really have a leg to stand on, do I? A lawyer seems a bit pointless."

"That is your choice Mr Jareau" Emily responded. "Was that an admission of guilt? You are aware that this offence could result in time in a federal prison?"

Again Mr Jareau shrugged. "As I said before, you witnessed me hitting her" he said. "I can't really deny that it happened, can I?"

"You were aware that your daughter is a federal agent?" Hotch asked, hoping to get this part of the interview over and done with.

"Her mother keeps me informed about her life" Mr Jareau said, still sounding unconcerned. "So, yeah ... I knew she was an agent."

Hotch sat back with a small smile. A full confession within 10 minutes of entering the room – this man's arrogance was already proving to be his downfall.

"You know" Hotch said conversationally, "I suggested that JJ stay in DC for this case. She clearly doesn't have particularly happy memories of this place."

"She should have done as she was told then" Mr Jareau said with a smug smile. "She always did have a problem with authority."

"It wasn't an order" Hotch corrected him, "just a suggestion."

"Do you want to know why she did come up here?" Prentiss asked, moving on with their plan. Despite Mr Jareau's supercilious shrug, she continued. "She was worried that you might be responsible for these murders. Said she couldn't stay in DC and not know for sure."

"Murders?" Mr Jareau asked. "She thinks **I** killed them?"

"She wasn't really sure" Hotch answered, "but she certainly seemed to think you were capable of it."

Mr Jareau leaned back in his chair, a smug look on his face. Hotch now desperately wanted to smack the look off his face, but knew that he needed to stay calm.

"But she was wrong, wasn't she Mr Jareau?" Prentiss said confidently. "You simply aren't capable of committing a crime like this."

"I certainly haven't killed anyone" Mr Jareau said smoothly. "I can't think why my daughter would assume that I could even think about doing that."

"Oh I think we all know that you could **think** about it" Hotch said. "You'd love to have been involved in this, but you simply don't have what it takes, do you?"

"I ... you ..." Mr Jareau stuttered.

"JJ was seeing you as she saw you as a child – strong, intimidating, and aggressive – in complete control of her life" Prentiss taunted him, "but she was a child then – she couldn't fight back. Just like your wife still can't fight back now."

"You're a classic bully" Hotch continued. "You only pick on people who you think aren't going to fight back. A child ... or children? ... and a wife who you've conditioned to believe they are worthless; that they deserve to be treated like shit. There is no way that you could commit a crime like this. You're too much of a coward."

Mr Jareau stood up and slammed his hands on the table.

"You don't know me" he shouted. "How dare you call me a coward?"

"What are you going to do?" Prentiss asked calmly. "Hit me?"

"Of course not!" Hotch taunted. "You'd never have the guts. You've sat by and watched these murders happen. Hell, you probably even know who is responsible. You've admired them from afar, but you don't have anything to do with it. You haven't got what it takes."

Mr Jareau sat down, beginning to look defeated.

"So who is it?" Prentiss asked. "Who is it who has the guts to do what you can't?"

"Like I'd tell you that!" Mr Jareau spat out.

"We'll talk to JJ" Prentiss warned. "I'm sure your ... organisation doesn't have much movement in the membership. She would have known this guy, when she was a child. We'll find out who it is and, if we find out that you knew, we will add aiding and abetting a murderer to your charges."

Hotch was pleased to see that Mr Jareau looked worried at this, meaning that Prentiss was right in her assumptions.

"I want to see my lawyer now" Mr Jareau announced nervously.

Hotch looked at Prentiss who nodded in response to his unspoken question. They stood up, silently left the room and closed the door behind them. They quickly made their way into the room where the rest of the team, minus JJ, were waiting impatiently.

"Morgan?" Prentiss asked worriedly. "Where is she?"

"She jumped in one of the cars and drove off" he answered, sounding just as worried. "I didn't see which way she went and she's turned off her phone so Garcia can't track her."

"What happened?" Hotch asked.

"Her Mom said something about her sister" Morgan explained, sounding confused. "I didn't even know she had a sister."

"She doesn't" Hotch said sadly. "She committed suicide when JJ was 11."

He watched as Morgan visibly flinched at this news.

"I'm sure she just needs some time alone." Rossi said calmly. "She'll contact us when she is ready."

Hotch nodded in agreement, although he could see that Prentiss and Morgan were unconvinced. The team sat down at the table for a few minutes and listened as Hotch and Prentiss described their interview with JJ's father. On more than one occasion Hotch saw Morgan have to physically restrain himself from storming from the room. He wondered whether there was more to Morgan and JJ's relationship than the close friendship that he had seen develop over the last few months.

They had finished talking over the interview and had moved on to the case when they were interrupted by a worried looking deputy.

"Agent Hotchner?" the young man said, looking nervously around the room.

"Yes" Hotch said, stepping forward.

"We've had notification of a Road Traffic Accident just outside town" the deputy said. "One of your SUVs was involved."

The team looked at each other worriedly.

"JJ!" Prentiss exclaimed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Emily was relieved that Hotch had sent her and Morgan to meet JJ at the scene of the accident. They both needed to reassure themselves that she was unhurt. The deputy hadn't been able to give them much information other than a location, but he had known that JJ was unscathed enough to be arguing with the paramedics who had been called to the scene.

When they arrived Emily wasn't sure whether to be worried or relieved that JJ had given up on arguing with the paramedics and was sat passively allowing the paramedic to treat her injuries. Whilst Morgan went to speak to the local cops who were on the scene, Emily walked up to the ambulance where JJ was perched on the steps being treated. She had dozens of small cuts, probably from flying glass, on her face and upper body and was currently having her left arm put in a sling.

"Hey" Emily said softly. "You can't seem to catch a break lately, can you?"

JJ smiled slightly and Emily could see that, whilst her injuries may be minor, she had been badly shaken.

"What happened?" Emily asked.

"Someone threw a brick through the passenger side of my windscreen" JJ said shakily. "I lost control of the car and nearly hit a little girl."

Emily could see JJ's control break as she described what had happened. As the tears started to fall Emily unobtrusively tapped the paramedic on the shoulder. He looked at her and nodded before moving away from the two of them. Emily sat beside JJ on the back of the ambulance and put an arm around her shoulders. There was no other ambulance around, no sign of any other casualties and there had been no time for them to be moved, meaning that JJ had clearly not hit the little girl. Emily could see, however, that even the possibility of hitting her was tearing JJ apart.

"I managed to swerve away from her" JJ said eventually, "and I hit a tree instead."

"Are you hurt?" Emily asked. "I mean, do you need to see a doctor?"

"I'm fine" JJ assured her. "A few small cuts and a sprained wrist. I don't need to go to hospital."

"I said it was probably sprained" the paramedic interrupted at this point. "You should really get it checked out, to be sure."

"I'm fine" JJ huffed, clearly desperate not to go to the hospital. "It doesn't feel broken."

"I'm just making a recommendation" the paramedic said, putting his hands up in surrender. "What you chose to do with that is up to you."

"How about we leave it for now" Emily suggested, not wanting to agitate her friend any further. "If it is still causing problems later, we'll see a doctor then."

JJ gladly agreed with the plan, before thanking the paramedic and stepping down from the ambulance. Emily led her over to Morgan, who had just finished talking to the first responder. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand.

"How are you doing girl?" he asked JJ. "Do we need to take you to the hospital?"

"Been there ... had that conversation" Emily said before JJ could respond. "We're going to see how her arm is later."

She gave Morgan a pointed look, which he quickly clued in to, changing the subject and taking the attention away from JJ.

"The brick had this note wrapped around it" Morgan explained, holding it up for them to read.

"_Any coward can fight a battle when he's sure of winning, but give me the man who has pluck to fight when he's sure of losing. That's my way, sir; and there are many victories worse than a defeat."_

_You really think your father did this? You must know by now that he is all talk – he hasn't got what it takes to pull this off. Stop wasting your time on him; he'll never give me up._

"It looks like the unsub has come to the same conclusions about your father as we did" Emily said to JJ.

"You think he knows the unsub?" JJ asked with concern.

"He more or less confirmed that in the interview" Emily said as they all began to walk to back to the car which Morgan had driven to the scene. "He also looked very worried when we suggested that you might remember him from your childhood."

"I knew him?" JJ asked, sounding worried.

"Probably" Morgan said as he unlocked the car.

JJ didn't say any more, but quietly got into the back seat of the car. She struggled slightly with putting on her seatbelt, but sharply refused any help from either Emily or Morgan, who immediately exchanged a worried look. They could see that something about their conversation was worrying JJ, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. They drove in silence back to the station, where Morgan helped JJ out of the car. Before they entered the building Emily pulled JJ back so that she could talk with her before she was faced with the others.

"What's worrying you Jayje?" she asked gently.

JJ sighed and shrugged before answering. "I feel like I should know who this guy is" she said hopelessly, "but I can't remember anything. I feel like I'm letting you all down."

"Jayje" Emily said softly, grabbing hold of JJ's good hand, "even if you did know this man, you haven't seen him since you were 14, maybe even longer. The profile might trigger a memory, but it's just as likely that you won't remember him at all. No-one is expecting miracles from you JJ."

"No-one except me" JJ said wryly.

Emily smiled at her friend, knowing how much pressure she always put on herself. She put a supporting hand on JJ's back and led her through the station and into the room where the rest of the team were waiting. Morgan had obviously already informed them about JJ's injuries and the circumstances of the crash and they were discussing the note when the two female agents entered.

"He is clearly highly educated" Reid was saying. "The quote is taken from 'Janet's Repentance' by George Elliott. It is a short story – one of three that made up her first published book of fiction. It dealt mainly with issues of doctrinal disagreements in the English Church in the early 19th Century, but also touched on the issue of domestic violence."

The whole team looked uncomfortable at this, and JJ refused to look any of them in the eye.

"It is highly likely that our unsub studied English Literature, at least to degree level" Reid continued. "It's not the sort of book that many people read for fun!"

"OK" Hotch said, sounding optimistic, "so we know that he is white, probably aged between 30 and 45, local to this area and that he has studied literature at University. Morgan, can you give Garcia those parameters and see what she comes up with."

Morgan nodded and left the room to make the call.

"When we have some names JJ can take a look at them and see if they ring any bells" Hotch continued, not noticing how uncomfortable JJ looked. "Reid and Rossi can go to the crime scene and see if they find anything the locals have missed and JJ, Prentiss, Morgan and I will brief the locals."

Morgan returned at this point and informed them that Garcia said she would have the results of her search with them in the next 15 minutes. JJ left the room to get the locals together and Emily waited until Reid and Rossi had left before she took Hotch to one side to talk about JJ.

"You need to stop putting pressure on JJ to remember this guy" Emily said bluntly. "I know that you don't mean to, but she's desperately worried that she isn't going to be able to remember and she feels like she is letting us all down."

"I didn't mean to make her feel pressured" Hotch said guiltily. "I just thought she might have some ideas and I figured that she would appreciate being as involved as possible."

"She does want to be involved" Emily said, "and that is where the pressure is coming from – herself. I'm just trying to say that she doesn't need any pressure on top of that."

"Noted" said Hotch, "and thanks for letting me know."

Emily smiled her acknowledgment before they all walked out to the main part of the station to deliver the profile. JJ had already got the locals together and started the meeting, leaving them to explain their findings.

"We believe that we are looking for a white male, aged between 30 and 45" Hotch began. "The organisation of the crimes makes a younger unsub unlikely and the physical effort required for the body dump excludes anyone older."

"The man we are looking for is highly educated" Prentiss continued. "The note that was attached to the brick which was thrown at Agent Jareau's car demonstrates a man who has a degree level qualification, or higher, in Literature."

"He is local to this area, probably having been born here" Morgan said. "He wouldn't be someone that you would naturally flag up as being violent. He comes across as highly civilised and calm. He is almost definitely a member of the neo-Nazi which we know to be active in the area and may be known for his ability to make highly logical arguments for his beliefs."

"Our analyst is currently searching databases for men matching this profile" JJ finished off, "but you obviously know the locals better than most of us, so we would really appreciate your help in identifying this unsub as soon as possible. Please come and talk to us if you have any ideas or questions."

They wrapped up the meeting with a few questions and answers and, by the time they had made their way back into the office, Garcia was waiting with the information they had requested.

"I've faxed over pictures and basic information on 8 local men who fit the profile to a T" Garcia said, her face appearing on the computer screen as she spoke.

Emily turned to the fax machine and quickly distributed copies of the files to the team.

"Thanks baby girl" Morgan said as she sat down and began to read.

"No problem angel fish" Garcia returned. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"You know we will" Morgan said as he switched off the connection.

The four of them sat silently for 10 minutes as they read through the information. Once Emily had finished looking through her copies, she looked over to see how JJ was doing. The blonde agent was showing sure signs of stress and exhaustion. She was intermittently pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger whilst flitting purposelessly between the different files, obviously not finding what she was looking for. She looked pale and tired and Emily thought she looked like she was in pain. She briefly considered suggesting to her friend that she take a break, but knew that JJ would never agree to it. She compromised by offering to make coffee for the whole team (Rossi and Reid having just returned from the crime scene with no new information). When she passed JJ her mug, she slipped her some painkillers and asked her how she was doing. JJ merely smiled slightly in response and returned to her task, looking as though she had the weight of the entire world on her shoulders.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

JJ's head felt like it was going to explode. She had read and re-read those eight files dozens of times and nothing had triggered any memories. It had got to the point now where she was barely seeing the words anymore – they were all blurring into one hazy mess. A small part of her knew that the chances of her remembering someone who had played a minor role in her childhood weren't good, but the larger part was desperate to be the one to crack the case.

She sighed as she felt the familiar pain of a migraine flashing across her head. As a teenager she had suffered regularly from migraines, but these had been rare since she joined the FBI. She knew that the migraines were triggered by stress and that she should have been ready for one to hit on this case, but the possibility hadn't even occurred to her, meaning that she had left her medication at home. She sighed again when she recognised the consequences of that mistake; without the prescription meds, nothing would stop the migraine gaining full strength. She would be good for nothing but lying down in a dark room within the next two hours. She turned resolutely back to the files, determined not to show any weakness although she was, thankfully, alone in the room so there was no-one to comment on her obvious discomfort. The rest of the team had gone out after lunch to interview the friends and family of the three victims to see if they could find links to any of the men on Garcia's list. She had been alone at the station, obsessively reading the files, for two hours now and was expecting people to return any minute.

Morgan and Reid were the first to arrive back, quickly followed by Prentiss, Hotch and Rossi. As the team brainstormed around her, JJ could feel the world blurring as she began to see flashing lights; both indications that the migraine had truly taken hold.

"JJ?" she heard someone – Morgan possibly – call, penetrating the fog. She looked up, immediately regretting it when the pain shot through her head.

"Jayje, are you OK?" Prentiss asked. "You don't look too good."

"I need to go to the hotel" JJ slurred. "Migraine."

She stood up unsteadily and was relieved when she felt Morgan supporting her.

"Do you need anything?" he asked quietly.

"I just need to get back to the hotel" she answered.

The trip back to the hotel was a blur; the pain now so severe that she could barely see. Morgan had driven her back and he helped her into the hotel and into the elevator, much as he had the night before. He settled her onto the bed and turned off all of the lights before asking her again if she needed anything.

"Some painkillers or something JJ" he prompted, clearly desperate to help.

"Painkillers don't work" JJ explained. "I've got prescription meds, but I left them in DC. I just need to sleep."

"I'll leave you to it then girl" he said softly, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead before he quietly left the room. JJ was fast asleep within seconds.

She woke nearly 12 hours later, at just gone 3am, still disorientated and in some pain, but considerably better than she had been. She slowly sat up and catalogued the sources of her pain; she still had the last vestiges of the migraine buzzing around her head, her left wrist was sore (although thankfully not bad enough for it to be broken) and she still ached all over from her gym visit 24 hours earlier. She quietly dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom. She took her night clothes and wash bag with her, since she had slept with her clothes on to this point. She closed the door to the bathroom before she turned on the light, hoping not to wake Emily who had obviously returned to the hotel whilst JJ had been sleeping.

Once in the bathroom she quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth, wincing as these actions pulled at the cuts on her face. Looking at her face in the mirror, she soon realised that she wouldn't be running any press conferences for this case. As she removed her shirt she also saw that there was a seatbelt-shaped bruise forming across her chest. She sighed heavily – this case was going to kill her if she wasn't careful. Turning away from the mirror, she finished undressing and got into her nightclothes before turning the bathroom light off and stepping silently into the bedroom. One of the side lights in the room had been turned on and JJ could see that Emily was sat on the side of her bed, looking in her direction.

"OK?" Emily asked softly.

"Better" JJ said, smiling slightly as she sat down on her own bed.

"You had Morgan really worried" Emily said, coming to sit next to JJ. "He said he'd never seen anyone in as much pain as you were on the way out here. I didn't even realise you got migraines."

"I don't get them very often anymore" JJ explained, "and when I do get them, I can usually see them coming and prevent the worst by taking my tablets."

"You didn't have the tablets with you?" Emily asked.

"I left them at home" JJ said regretfully. "I haven't had a migraine in over a year. It didn't even occur to me that I might need them, although I probably should have realised that this might happen on this case."

"How could you know that?" Emily asked, initially confused before recognising the meaning behind JJ's words. "They're stress-related?"

"They are, although the doctors didn't always think that" JJ said. Seeing Emily's questioning look, she explained more fully. "When I was at college, the doctors thought that they might have been linked to all of the hits to the head I received from my father. They wanted to do all sorts of scans, until I told them that it couldn't be that."

"Why not?" Emily asked.

JJ paused, not entirely sure that she wanted to talk about this. She trusted Emily 100%, but this conversation was going to get really emotional and she wasn't sure that she was feeling up to it.

"I'm sorry Jayje" Emily said, obviously noticing JJ's discomfort. "I'm being nosy. You don't need to tell me."

"I know" JJ said, appreciating Emily's understanding. "I want to. I'm just not sure if I can cope with talking about it right now."

"Whenever you're ready" Emily said, pulling JJ into a hug before walking back over to her own bed. She waited a few minutes for JJ to get into bed and then turned the light off.

JJ laid thinking for a few minutes. Her head was still throbbing and she desperately needed to get back to sleep, but she couldn't stop the thoughts spinning through her mind. She sighed deeply and sat up in the bed, turning the light back on.

"Maddie had migraines as well" JJ blurted out, looking over to Emily who was already on her way over to JJ's bed. "Dad never hit her and she still got the migraines."

"Maddie?" Emily said, sitting down next to JJ.

"My sister" JJ said quietly. "She ... uh ... she ..."

"I know" Emily said gently. "Hotch told me."

JJ nodded, realising that Hotch would have to have told Emily about Maddie before they could interview her father.

"Maddie never did anything to upset Dad enough for him to hit her. She always just went along with whatever he wanted, until ..."

She paused, attempting to calm her emotions before continuing. "When she was 15 Dad introduced her to a guy who was a few years older than her and told her that he expected her to marry him when she was older. She went along with it at first; went on a few dates ... strictly chaperoned of course, but she didn't like him. She said to me that he scared her; that there was something threatening about him. At the time, neither of us had ever angered Dad before, so we had no reason to be worried about challenging him. I told her to talk to Dad about it and she did."

"How did he react?" Emily asked as JJ paused again, struggling to hold back the tears.

"Maddie said he was totally calm" JJ said shakily, "but he wouldn't listen to any of her arguments. He wouldn't back down."

"What happened?" Emily asked.

"The next day she came into my room before bedtime" JJ said, the tears finally beginning to fall, "and told me that, no matter what, she would always love me."

"Oh Jayje" Emily said, slowly rubbing JJ's back as she cried.

"I woke up the next morning when my Mom started screaming" JJ continued, the tears still falling. "I ran into Maddie's room and she was ..."

JJ broke down completely as the memory overwhelmed her. Emily merely pulled her closer to her and held her as she sobbed.

"Mom and Dad never really talked about what happened. They tried to make me believe that she had accidentally taken too many painkillers and that she hadn't meant to kill herself, but I knew how she felt about marrying that guy. I knew that she would rather ..." JJ stopped, unable to say it out loud. "The weird thing was that he was still hanging around our family months after my sister died and my parents didn't do anything to stop him. He really freaked me out. I was so relieved when he went to ..."

JJ trailed off as her mind began to make some connections.

"Went where Jayje?" Emily prodded.

"Did you bring those files back with you?" JJ asked urgently, jumping out of bed and turning on the main light. "The possible unsubs?"

"They're on the table" Emily said, sounding concerned. "What is it Jayje?"

JJ said nothing, but walked over to the table and began searching through the files, eventually finding what she was looking for. With the file in her hand, she sank into one of the chairs feeling suddenly sick. Emily knelt down in front of her.

"JJ?" she said worriedly. "What is it?"

"James McIninch, 38 years old" JJ said robotically. "He was the guy that Maddie was supposed to marry. He fits the profile to perfection – he was part of the same group as Dad, he's the right age and he studied literature at college. That's when she stopped hanging out around our house. It's him ... It has to be. I can't believe I didn't recognise him before."

Emily took the file from her and read it quickly. When she finished, she looked back up at JJ, obviously concerned for her friend.

"I think you're right Jayje" she started to say, but was interrupted by her phone ringing. She checked caller id before answering.

"Hotch?" she answered. "JJ has just..."

She went quiet for a few moments and then said "we'll be down in 5 minutes."

Turning to answer JJ's questioning look, she said "Somebody else has just been reported missing. He's been missing for nearly 24 hours."

**A/N For some reason, I really struggled with this chapter and I'm still not totally happy with it, so I would really appreciate any feedback people have to offer. I also need to make a decision about the next chapter. I was originally planning for this victim to be linked to JJ in some way, but I feel like I've already put her through too much. What do you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Another apology for the woefully long wait for this chapter. I'm afraid life keeps getting in the way!**

Chapter 9

By the time Morgan and Reid made it down to the lobby it was just after 3:30. Hotch and Rossi were stood close to the door talking to the local sheriff who had driven to meet them at the Hotel. Morgan could see Prentiss and JJ sat to one side, clearly waiting for Hotch to finish talking. As Morgan and Reid approached the two women, Morgan quickly saw that JJ still looked pale, tired and pained. Encouraging Reid to sit with JJ, he took Prentiss to one side.

"Why the hell is she not still in bed?" he said with an accusatory tone.

"She's identified a possible suspect" Prentiss explained quietly. "We need her here to talk through what she knows about him."

"She doesn't look like she is up to that Prentiss" Morgan said, feeling an inexplicable need to protect the fragile-looking woman. "Couldn't you have got the information from her upstairs? She looks like she's about to collapse."

"She's stronger than any of us give her credit for" Prentiss argued angrily. "I suggested that she stay in bed and she wasn't having any of it. You're welcome to try yourself, but I think we both know that when JJ makes a decision, she won't be swayed."

"You're right" he sighed, rubbing his hand over his head. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about her."

"As am I" Prentiss said, sounding slightly irritated.

Recognising that he had pissed her off, he held his hands up and repeated his apology.

"I really am sorry Prentiss" he said. "I didn't mean to suggest that you weren't worried too."

Prentiss accepted his apology with a smile and a shrug, as they both noticed Hotch, Rossi and the Sheriff walking over to JJ and Reid, who were talking quietly. Morgan and Prentiss silently moved over to join the rest of the team. As Morgan sat next to JJ, Hotch began speaking.

"32 year old, African-American, David Johnson was last seen when he left for work at 6am yesterday" Hotch said.

Morgan heard JJ gasp quietly as Hotch named the latest victim and looked quickly in her direction. His heart sank when he saw tears in her eyes.

"You knew him?" he asked gently.

She nodded silently and reached out for his hand, grasping it tightly in her own cold, clammy hand.

"I'm sorry JJ" Hotch said. "Do you want to..."

"No" JJ interrupted, obviously trying to sound strong. "I'm fine. Please carry on."

Looking at JJ doubtfully, Hotch shrugged and continued.

"He called his office in Pittsburgh thirty minutes later and told his secretary that he was only five minutes away, but he never turned up" Hotch explained. "The secretary called Mrs Johnson and the family spent the day searching East Allegheny and Pittsburgh for him, assuming that the police wouldn't get involved so early. They eventually realised how serious this was and called local PD at 3am."

"If he follows his previous pattern, he will be dumping the body within the next two hours" Reid offered.

Morgan felt JJ tense next to him at the mention of a body.

"Local PD are covering the UPS store already" Rossi said, "but they are only a small force and would really appreciate our help over there."

"JJ, how is your arm?" Hotch asked.

"Fine" JJ said firmly. "I want to be involved in this Hotch."

"I don't want you out there alone" Hotch warned. "This guy has already targeted you once. Stick with Morgan OK?"

JJ nodded as they all began to make their way to the parking garage.

"Wait" he head JJ and Prentiss say together.

Remembering what Prentiss had said earlier, he turned to look at them questioningly. The rest of the team also stopped in their tracks and turned to face the two female agents.

"JJ has identified a possible suspect" Prentiss explained. "It'll be useful if people know who they may be looking for."

They all turned to look expectantly at JJ, who was still holding tightly onto Morgan's hand.

"This is James McIninch" JJ said, holding up the picture so they could all see it. "He is 38 years old and is definitely part of the same organisation as my father."

"Does he fit the rest of the profile?" Rossi asked.

"From what JJ can remember, he seems to" Prentiss answered. "I think JJ is right about him. I think he's our unsub."

"Have we got an address?" Hotch asked. When JJ handed the information over to him he continued, saying, "Rossi and I will go to his home and see if he is there, but I still think our best chance of catching him is at the store, so the rest of you need to get over there ASAP. Stay in pairs and assist local PD."

They all agreed and made their way out to their cars. Hotch and Rossi took one SUV, while Morgan, Reid, Prentiss and JJ took the other. They wordlessly hopped into the vehicle, with Morgan driving and Reid navigating for the short distance. This left JJ and Prentiss in the back seat together. As he drove, Morgan listened to the conversation that the two women were having.

"How do you know the victim Jayje?" Prentiss was asking gently.

"We were at school together" JJ answered quietly. "We were part of the same group of friends."

"Were you close?" Prentiss asked. Morgan held his breath as he waited for her answer.

"Not really" JJ answered. "We were lab partners in chemistry in our senior year and we hung out a bit at weekends. He was a friend of Charlie's, but I haven't spoken to him since I left East Allegheny."

As JJ finished talking, they arrived at the store and jumped out of the SUV. They quickly found the sheriff, who had arrived only minutes earlier, and listened as he directed them, alongside his own team, to different areas surrounding the store. Reid and Prentiss were sent across the road from the front of the store, where they could hide themselves in an alley. Morgan and JJ were sent round the to the back of the store, where they waited behind a tall hedge. As they parted company, the team received a call from Rossi, informing them all that the suspect had not been at home.

When JJ and Morgan reached their destination, they settled themselves silently and got ready for 2 hours stood in the cold and dark. As they waited, JJ quietly explained to Morgan what she knew about their suspect. As she talked tearfully about her sister's relationship with the man, and her subsequent suicide, Morgan once again cursed the man who had beaten his daughters, both physically and emotionally. They stood silently for some minutes after she finished her story, both clearly lost in their own thoughts. Central in Morgan's mind was how JJ had grown to be such a beautiful person, given all of the pain in her past. Until this case had landed on her desk she always seemed so positive. As he looked at her he realised that he had never seen JJ looking as broken as she did right now, even after the Henkel case.

As he was watching her, she turned to face him.

"Morgan?" she said quietly, obviously wanting to ask him something.

"What is it girl?" he asked, as he moved closer to her.

"Reid said that the unsub would be dumping the body soon" she said, sounding tearful. "Is there really no chance that David is still alive?"

"I'm sorry Jayje" he said, pulling her into a hug. "The autopsies suggest that they died soon after they went missing. It is really unlikely that he is alive."

She nodded into his chest, clearly trying to hold it together. As he held onto her and tried to comfort her, they were both oblivious to what was happening around them. He was, therefore, completely blindsided when a baseball bat connected hard with the back of his head and everything went black.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

JJ felt Derek fall heavily towards her and instinctively put her hands out to catch him. Realising that, with a sprained wrist, she had no chance of halting his progress; she did her best to slowly lower him to the floor.

"Get away from him" she heard a male voice shouting. "He had his hands all over you. He has no right."

She looked up to see their suspect, James McIninch, standing metres away from her with a baseball bat raised threateningly in his hands. She immediately took a step back and reached for her weapon.

"Put the bat down Mr McIninch" she said firmly, pointing the gun in his direction.

"Jennifer" he said calmly, without lowering his weapon. "You have a gun pointed at me. I'm not about to leave myself unprotected."

"If you put the bat down and get on the floor" JJ explained calmly, although she was inwardly shaking, "then I will have no need for this gun."

"You're not going to shoot me" James said, swaggering towards her as he spoke. She cursed herself as she automatically backed away from him, showing her fear.

"You know that I'm doing the right thing" he continued arrogantly as he moved past an unconscious Derek Morgan, while JJ shuffled backwards away from him. "These people need to be kept in their place. Nobody else was doing it. I had no choice."

"These people?" JJ sneered, finally stopping and standing her ground as anger overtook her. "These people? The people you killed were worth 20 of you. They had people who loved them. They had futures. What the hell do you have? You're pathetic! You've got nowhere in life and, instead of trying to work out what you can do better; you had to look for other people to blame for your failure. It's pathetic!"

She could tell by his expression that she had hit a nerve, so she instinctively aimed her gun more firmly in his direction.

"Don't move" she shouted as he continued to swagger towards her.

"What are you going to do?" he taunted, as he finally stopped moving forward. "You aren't going to shoot me. You don't have it in you."

They were both circling around each other now, neither prepared to give an inch.

"You have no idea how much I want to shoot you" JJ said, the anger from her sister's death merging with her anger over the case. "How much I want to kill you. You have murdered four people and attacked a federal officer. No-one is going to bat an eyelid if I kill you now."

"Then why haven't you already shot me?" he sneered, still circling her.

"Because a quick, easy death is too good for you" JJ returned. "You deserve to suffer; to feel the pain that you have caused others."

"So what are you going to do?" he taunted. "I'm not putting this bat down and you clearly haven't got the guts to take me down."

Finally having had enough of his grand-standing, she clicked the safety off on her gun, braced with her left hand and shot at the space between his legs.

"Next time I shoot that little bit higher" she warned, desperately trying to hide the pain in her wrist that the kick back had caused. "Now put the bat down and get down on the floor."

The hand holding the bat dropped slightly, showing that she was some way to making her point, but he continued to stare at her, obviously not certain as to how serious she was. Recognising that she needed to be even more obvious, she raised the gun slightly and clicked the safety again, not once taking her eyes off of his. After a few minutes his gaze lowered as he dropped the bat, finally falling to his knees.

"Face down on the floor" she ordered, moving towards him as he followed her instructions. Keeping her gun aimed at his head, she kicked the baseball bat away from his grasp.

Just as she was about to reach for her phone to alert the rest of the team, she was relieved to hear the sounds of people running towards her. Realising that her team and the local cops must have been alerted by the gunshot, she waited patiently for help to arrive. Within seconds the area was flooded with noise and light as everyone arrived on the scene. She watched as two local officers cuffed James and dragged him away. Only once he was out of sight did she relax enough to re-holster her gun. As the immediate danger disappeared she felt the adrenaline drain from her body and became immediately aware of everything that was happening around her.

"Jayje?" she heard Emily calling gently to her. She turned her head slightly to one side and saw Emily looking at her with concern written all over her face.

Suddenly overwhelmed by the pain in her arm and the shock of the situation, JJ shoved Emily out of the way and ran to the side of the building, where she threw up into a drain. As she felt the world beginning to spin around her, she closed her eyes and used her right arm to brace herself against the wall in front of her. She breathed deeply in an attempt to quell the nausea and, after a few minutes, was eventually able to open her eyes and turn away from the wall. She immediately felt Emily's arm supporting her.

"Derek?" JJ asked worriedly, subconsciously cradling her left arm.

"Conscious and claiming he doesn't need to go to the hospital" Emily reassured her.

JJ smiled weakly.

"And how are you doing Jayje?" Emily asked gently, walking her towards the ambulance where Derek was already being treated. "Is your arm bothering you?"

Too tired to argue, JJ nodded.

"The kick-back from the gun jarred it" she explained.

"Why don't we follow the ambulance to the hospital" Emily suggested. "Then you can get your arm checked out."

"Can I see him quickly first?" JJ asked.

"Of course" Emily answered, smiling as JJ walked unsteadily up to Derek, who was laying on a gurney in the back of the ambulance.

"I'm so sorry" JJ said tearfully as Morgan pulled her into a hug.

"Why are you sorry Jayje?" he asked, confused. "If you hadn't been there, he would have beaten me to death."

"But if I hadn't distracted you ..." she worried.

"This is not your fault JJ" he said firmly. "You got him. You finished this."

At this the EMTs told JJ that they needed to make a move; so she stepped out of the ambulance and walked over to the SUV where Emily was waiting for her.

"Hotch said we could stay at the hospital until Morgan is ready to leave" Emily explained. "He, Reid and Rossi are going back to the station to interview McIninch."

JJ merely nodded in response, too tired to talk. They travelled to the hospital in complete silence. JJ was pretty sure she dozed off for part of the journey, waking as they pulled into the car park. JJ wearily followed Emily into the ER and sat in the waiting room as Emily signed her in and checked up on Derek.

"He's being seen by a doctor at the moment" Emily said as she sat down next to JJ. "They're going to let us know when he's ready for visitors."

JJ didn't respond at all; the weight of the last few days suddenly pressing down on her. Without speaking Emily wrapped an arm around JJ's shoulders and pulled her gently until JJ's head was resting on her shoulder. They sat like this, in silence, until a doctor walked into the waiting room and called JJ's name.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Emily sat in the hospital waiting room, anxious for news on either of her two friends. JJ had followed the doctor into one of the side rooms just over 20 minutes ago, telling Emily that she should wait for news on Morgan. Emily was desperately concerned about JJ, who had grown quieter and paler over the short time that they had spent in the hospital. As she mentally catalogued the ordeals that JJ had faced in the past few days, she was amazed that JJ was still standing, however shakily.

"Is there an Agent Prentiss or an Agent Jareau here?" Her thoughts were interrupted by a harried looking nurse calling her and JJ's names whilst searching the waiting room. She quickly stood up and made her way over to the nurse.

"I'm Agent Prentiss" she said as she reached the nurse. "Agent Jareau is currently being treated for an injured wrist."

The nurse nodded before speaking.

"Agent Morgan has been seen by a doctor" she explained. "He has a mild concussion and we're going to need to keep him under observation for a few hours. He is ready for visitors though and we should be able to release him before lunch."

"Will he be OK to work" Emily asked, "or does he need to rest?"

"He's going to need to rest for today at least" the nurse answered, leading Emily down a corridor towards what she assumed to be Morgan's room. When the nurse stopped outside a room, Emily also stopped and asked a question.

"Will someone tell our colleague, Agent Jareau, where we are?" she asked anxiously.

"I'll make sure she gets to you once she's been treated" the nurse answered with a kind smile.

Emily thanked her before slipping into the room where Morgan was sat on a bed already looking restless and bored.

"Tell me you're here to spring me" he said.

"Sorry" Emily said, sitting on a chair which had been pulled up to the bed. "You're here for the next few hours."

"Seriously?" Morgan moaned.

"Seriously" Emily deadpanned. "We need to wait for JJ anyway."

"Is she OK?" Morgan asked, sitting up and looking worried.

"She's fine" Emily said reassuringly. "The kick-back from the gun really jarred her wrist so she's just having it checked out."

"Do you know what happened after I got knocked out?" Morgan asked curiously.

"Not really" Emily replied thoughtfully. "I know she discharged her weapon and had McIninch on the floor by the time we got to the scene. He wasn't injured though, so I'm guessing it was a warning shot. JJ doesn't normally miss what she is aiming for."

"Is she OK?" Morgan repeated. "Not physically ... I mean; she was pretty close to the edge before this happened. How is she dealing with it?"

"She hasn't really said much since it happened" Emily said with a shrug. "She's obviously struggling, but I'm pretty sure we would all struggle with what she has been through over the last few days."

"I don't doubt that" Morgan answered with a slight smile.

Their conversation was interrupted at this point when a nurse arrived to check Morgan over. Emily sat back and watched as the nurse asked Morgan a few simple questions while checking his pupils with a small torch. She smiled as she finished, telling them both that everything looked good.

"Is he OK to have a drink if I go to get some coffee?" Emily asked.

"That shouldn't be a problem" the nurse responded.

As the nurse left the room, Emily stood to leave as well.

"White, no sugar?" she asked, barely waiting for his response. "I'm going to give Hotch a quick call as well so I might be a few minutes. The nurse knows to bring JJ here when she's ready."

"No problem" Morgan said, leaning back against the pillows. Looking at him, Emily could see that he was nowhere near as 'fine' as he was trying to make out.

Emily made her way out of the room and quickly found someone to ask directions. Discovering that the canteen was on the ground floor by the main entrance, she found the elevators and proceeded to follow the handy signs pointing her in the correct direction.

Initially going outside so that she could make her call, she took out her phone and dialled Hotch's number.

"Prentiss?" he answered without preamble. "How are they?"

"Morgan has a mild concussion" she responded. "They're keeping him under observation for the next few hours and he needs to rest when he gets out; which will probably be before lunch."

"And JJ?" Hotch asked with concern.

"I haven't seen her yet" Emily replied. "She was clearly in alot of pain though. How are things your end?"

"We found David Johnson's body in McIninch's truck round the corner from the store" Hotch explained. "McIninch has been processed and is cooling his heels in a cell. He's waived his right to representation. We're going to let him sweat for a few hours before we interview him."

"Who is going to do the interview?" Emily asked with interest.

"Probably Rossi and Reid" Hotch answered. "Rossi will be able to keep his cool, whatever McIninch has to say for himself and Reid should be able to draw out his bigoted beliefs and get him talking."

"We'll drop by the station when we leave the hospital" Emily said. "The doctor said that Morgan needs to rest so I'll take him back to the hotel after, but I know he'll want to check in first."

"We'll see you in a few hours then" Hotch said, before disconnecting the call.

Emily went back into the hospital and found the canteen, buying coffee for herself, Morgan and JJ before making her way back up to Morgan's room.

Morgan was still laid back on the bed with his eyes closed. Not wanting to disturb him if he was sleeping, she quietly put his and JJ's coffee down on a table and sat in the uncomfortable chair to drink her own.

"Mmmmm Coffee" Morgan mumbled, opening his eyes and reaching out for a cup.

"Not that one" Emily said quickly. "That's JJ's."

"Thanks" Morgan said, lifting the other cup and taking a sip.

It was at this point that the door to the room opened and the nurse ushered a clearly exhausted JJ into the room. Her left wrist was wrapped in a complicated-looking support bandage and was resting in a sling.

"Hey" Emily said, moving out of her seat to pull another chair over to the bed. "The coffee on the table is yours."

"Thanks" JJ said quietly, taking the coffee and settling into the chair.

"How's the wrist?" Morgan asked.

"Not broken" JJ replied, "but it is badly sprained and I may have chipped a bone. How's your head?"

"Fine" Morgan replied. "Just a mild concussion. I should be out of here in a few hours."

"That's good" JJ said, before taking a long drink from her coffee.

The three of them sat in an uncomfortable silence for some time as they drank their coffee. Emily tried to ignore the constant looks of concern that Morgan was throwing in her direction. She understood that he was worried about JJ. Hell, she was worried as well – really worried – but she didn't see what she could do about it when JJ was clearly not prepared to talk yet.

The nurse returned to the room to complete some more checks on Morgan.

"It's looking good Agent Morgan" the nurse said once she had finished. "We should be able to discharge you in the next hour. I'll be back with your pain meds and your discharge forms then."

"Thanks" Morgan and Emily said together.

As the nurse left JJ stood up and began to make her way to the door.

"I'm going to give Garcia a call and check in on Henry" she said as she opened the door.

"Before you go, I need to get you both up to date on the case" Emily said, standing to draw JJ back into the room. As much as she didn't want to have to tell JJ about their latest victim, she really didn't want her finding out from anyone else.

"Did they find David's body?" JJ asked, pre-empting Emily's news and obviously trying to put on a brave face.

"They did Jayje" Emily said, putting a comforting hand on her friend's arm. "I'm really sorry."

JJ shook Emily's hand off and walked back to the door.

"It's fine" she said, utterly unconvincingly. "I'm fine. I just need to check up on Henry."

As the door closed behind her friend, Emily let out a breath that she hadn't even realised that she had been holding.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I hope that there are still people out there reading this! I apologise (yet again) for the long delay. I have no excuse this time (I am actually at the end of a two week break). I have just lost my mojo!!! The story is nearly done now, maybe 1 or 2 more chapters. Enjoy!**

Chapter 12

Once JJ had left Derek's room she rushed out of the hospital in search of a quiet corner where she could call her friend. She desperately wanted to check in on her son, but she was also worried that she wouldn't make it through even the most mundane conversation without breaking down. She very quickly found a bench in a quiet corner of the hospital grounds and sank into the seat, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She dialled Garcia's number and waited for her to answer, using the time to make an attempt at calming herself.

"Jayje?" she heard Garcia answer, sounding worried. "How are you doing? How's my chocolate god?"

"Derek is fine" JJ replied with a slight smile. "He's got a slight concussion, but he should be discharged pretty soon."

"And you?" Garcia prompted. "How are you?"

"Just a sprained wrist" JJ answered, avoiding the true meaning of the question.

"That isn't what I mean and you know it" Garcia chided gently.

"I know" JJ said quietly, desperate to stay in control of the situation, "but I can't Garcia. Not now ... I just can't."

"You can't what?" pushed Garcia.

"Don't do this Garcia" JJ said, the tears already dripping down her face. "I just want to know how Henry is. I don't want to talk."

"Henry is in fine. He's in day-care" Garcia informed her. "And you need to talk about this Jayje. It's too much for you to keep to yourself. You'll drown in it."

"I know that" JJ said, now crying in earnest, "but I can't fall apart now. We're in the middle of a case. The team needs me."

"The case is over. You helped end it" Garcia said gently. "Nobody is going to judge you for needing to step back now."

"I can't fall apart now" JJ repeated, slowly doing just that.

"Oh Jayje" Garcia said, sounding tearful herself. "You have no idea how much I want to be there for you right now."

This admission finally tore JJ's defences down because, as much as Garcia wanted to be there, she wasn't and JJ needed her. As much as she had needed to be alone five minutes ago, now that she had let go she needed someone with her, to hold her and comfort her. She shuddered and sobbed, dropping her phone on the floor and leaning forward, holding her head in her hand. She could still hear Garcia calling to her from the phone, but couldn't bring herself to respond. As she thought back to the pain, fear and humiliation of the last few days, her sobs grew in intensity.

Ten minutes later, lost in her own misery, she barely noticed when someone sat on the bench next to her.

"I've got her" she heard Emily saying quietly. "Don't blame yourself Garcia ... I'll call you later."

Seconds later JJ felt herself being pulled into Emily's arms. She instantly tried to stem the flow of tears, nearly hyperventilating in her attempts to seem strong and in control.

"It's OK JJ" Emily said soothingly, obviously not fooled. "Let it all out. It's OK to cry."

Pulling away from Emily slightly, JJ took a deep breath before speaking.

"My Aunt always used to say that God never put you through more than you could cope with" JJ said, still crying. "That's bullshit! This is too much. I can't cope with all of this."

"It is too much Jayje" Emily said, pulling her back into a hug, "but you can cope with it. You will cope with it."

Completely exhausted, she collapsed into Emily's arms. She was still crying, but it was no longer uncontrollable sobbing. As she slowly calmed down, she could feel herself beginning to drowse off.

"Hey Jayje" Emily said softly. "They're just about to discharge Morgan. Why don't we go and pick him up; then I can drop you both off at the hotel and you could get some sleep."

Nodding tiredly, JJ stood with Emily and followed her back into the hospital. By the time they reached the reception desk, they could already see Derek making his way out of the elevator. Once he had joined them JJ could hear Emily explaining the plan. He argued at first, obviously not happy to lay low whilst there was still work to do, but Emily quickly reminded him that the doctor had ordered him to rest anyway. He reluctantly agreed to stay at the hotel with JJ, who frankly didn't have the energy to argue with anyone.

The three of them walked to the SUV, which Emily had managed to park fairly close to the front entrance. They silently climbed into the vehicle and Emily started the engine. As Emily began to drive towards the hotel, JJ curled into the corner of the backseat, desperate to avoid any conversation. Within two minutes, she had dropped into a restless sleep.

She woke about 10-15 minutes later to the sounds of Emily and Derek arguing.

"You are not carrying her upstairs" she could hear Emily hiss. "You've got a concussion. You are supposed to be resting."

"I'm fine" Derek argued. "I don't want to wake her. She's clearly exhausted."

"You can stop arguing" JJ interrupted them tiredly. "I can make my own way up to the room."

Getting out of the car, she silently pushed past her two friends and walked into the hotel. They followed her into the elevator and then down the corridor and into the room. As they closed the door behind them, Emily explained the plan that she and Derek had come up with in the car.

"If it's OK with you" Emily began, "Morgan is going to stay in this room until Reid and I come back later. He's got a head injury, so he shouldn't be on his own."

Recognising that Emily was only saying this to protect her dignity, as Derek was clearly there to look out for her, JJ gave them both a dubious look, but made no comment. Grabbing her bed clothes, she told them that she was going to get changed quickly. Before she went into the bathroom, Emily gave her a quick hug and told her that she would be back as soon as they had finished interviewing McIninch. JJ smiled slightly, trying to reassure Emily that she was fine without her, and slipped into the bathroom. Taking her sling off, she struggled to change her clothes, eventually managing to get into her pyjamas. She walked back into the room, where Derek was already laying on Emily's bed.

"How are you feeling Jayje?" he asked, sitting up slightly as she sat down on her own bed.

"I'm not the one with concussion" she said wryly.

"No, you're the one with multiple cuts and bruises and a sprained wrist" Derek returned, giving her a dubious look.

"I'm fine" she said eventually. "I just need to get some rest."

"OK" Derek said, not looking convinced. "Why don't you get into bed and get some sleep then. I'll just lie here and read."

As he picked up Emily's book, JJ got into her bed and turned away from him. Completely exhausted, she soon drifted off again.

She had been asleep for less than an hour when she was woken suddenly by Derek's phone ringing.

"Morgan" he answered quietly, obviously not aware that she was already awake.

"You have got to be kidding me Hotch" he continued. "She's had enough. Can't you do this without her? ... He what? ... Son of a ... OK, send him over. I'll make sure she's ready."

"What's going on?" JJ asked him as he finished the call.

"McIninch is refusing to talk" Derek explained, coming to sit beside her. "He is claiming that he has written a statement which he has left with his wife, but she has been instructed to only hand the statement to one person."

"Me" JJ said hollowly, her heart sinking with this realisation.

"I'm afraid so JJ" he said. "I'm really sorry, but Reid is on his way over to take you to McIninch's home."

Sighing, JJ wordlessly got up from the bed and made her way back into the bathroom to change again. She really didn't need this now.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N I hope that it goes without saying that the views in parts of this chapter are not my own! Some of it comes directly from the Aryan Nations' declaration.**

Chapter 13

Reid reluctantly knocked on the door to JJ's hotel room. He would have given anything to not have to drag her back into this case, which had already nearly broken her. He really wished that he hadn't been chosen for this particular job. He completely understood the reasoning behind it; they needed someone who wasn't an alpha male, both for Mrs McIninch and for JJ. The initial plan had been for Emily to work with JJ, but she had rightly protested that her presence could make it difficult for JJ to stay professional, since JJ had already broken down on her on a number of occasions. His concern intensified when JJ finally opened the door and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Let's get this over with" she said robotically.

She was beyond pale and had dark smudges under her eyes. The cuts and bruises on her face still looked angry and painful.

"McIninch is married to Johanna, maiden name Lewis, who is 37 years old" he explained hoping that, by keeping it professional, JJ would be able to stay detached. Hell, it had worked for him in the past. "They have two daughters – Sophie, aged 13 and Jenna, who is 10."

JJ merely nodded in response and stepped into the elevator. He followed her in and pressed the button for the ground floor. When they reached the foyer they silently made their way to the car. Reid desperately tried to think of some way of filling the silence, but eventually gave up and accepted that JJ clearly didn't want to talk.

Once Reid had begun the drive to McIninch's home, JJ finally broke the silence.

"How are we playing this?" she asked, resolutely avoiding eye contact.

"We just need the statement" Reid said firmly. "We get in, get the statement and we leave."

JJ nodded again and went back to staring silently out of the window.

When they arrived at the house Reid led JJ up the drive and knocked on the door, stepping back so that JJ could take the lead. The door was opened by a blonde haired, blue eyed girl, who Reid guessed to be the older of McIninch's two daughters.

"Sophie McIninch?" JJ said softly, taking out her FBI credentials. "I'm Agent Jareau. Is your Mom in?"

Looking absolutely terrified, the young girl backed away from the door before turning round and running into the house, calling for her Mom. Immediately, a woman in her mid-late 30s stepped out of a room at the back of the house and caught hold of her daughter, who quickly explained the situation. When the woman looked up and began walking toward the front door, Reid could see that there was at least one bruise on her face. She looked worried and upset, although she tried to hide this when she reached them.

"Agents?" she said, with only a slight shake in her voice. "Would you like to come in?"

They silently followed the woman into the front room. As they entered the room, Mr McIninch turned back to the corridor and called for her daughters.

"They don't need to be here for this Mrs McIninch" JJ said warily.

"Their father has requested that they hear whatever is said" she answered formally.

"I really don't think they need to hear this" Reid stuttered.

"That is their father's decision to make" she replied nervously.

"You're their Mother. It's your ..." JJ began, but had to stop as the two girls walked in and anxiously sat opposite the two agents.

"We're here to collect your husband's statement" JJ said, worriedly looking towards the young girls. "If you could just collect it for us, we can leave you to get on with things."

"James was adamant" Mrs McIninch, shaking her head. "I'm not to give you the statement unless you are prepared to read it out loud now."

"I'm sorry?" JJ questioned, looking confused.

"I am only to give you the statement if you agree to read it out now, in front of all of us" Mrs McIninch explained as she stood and took an envelope out of a drawer.

JJ looked nervously over to Reid, obviously unsure as to how to proceed. Realising that he needed to make a quick decision, he nodded. He figured that, whilst this was clearly giving McIninch something that he wanted, it may well be the only way to get the information that they needed.

"OK" JJ said, turning back to Mrs McIninch, who immediately handed over the envelope, which he could see was addressed to Agent Jareau.

Still looking anxiously at the two young girls sat opposite her, JJ opened the envelope and began to read the letter.

_Jennifer_

_If you are reading_ _this statement it is because the Zionist Occupied Government of the United States of America has caught up with me. I am writing this statement to you because I am sure that, whatever act you might be putting on, you secretly agree with everything that I have done. Whatever politically correct propaganda you are pretending to believe right now, you need to remember that I knew you as a child. I know what you really think._

_This nation is slowly being destroyed by immigration. These people are taking over our country and taking advantage of hard-working white Americans._

_I, James Matthew McIninch, state that I am responsible for the deaths of Jacob Friedman, Tina Yau, Jessie Moore and David Johnson. I am also responsible for the brick that was thrown through your car window. My only regret is that you had to be hurt for me to get my message across. _

_There was a time, shortly after your sister's tragic death when I honestly believed that you would be my future wife, but then you began to be fooled by government propaganda and you became disobedient towards your parents. I could not have a disobedient wife._

_I do not regret any of the deaths, although I do regret that I did not have the time to take further action._

_There will come a time when I will be celebrated as a saviour for the Aryan race._

"_We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."_

_I did this for my daughters._

_James Matthew McIninch_

As JJ finished reading, Reid could hear the strain in her voice as she attempted to stay professional and stem the tears which he could see forming in her eyes. The two girls sitting opposite them were not so controlled; they were both sobbing.

"Thank you Agent Jareau" Mrs McIninch said tearfully, standing to show them out.

Both Reid and JJ stood as well, beginning to walk out of the room. Just as they were about to pass through the doorway into the hall, JJ stopped abruptly and turned around.

"What now?" she asked Mrs McIninch.

"I'm sorry?" the woman replied, sounding as confused as Reid felt. He could see that JJ was angry, but couldn't quite work out what was going through her mind.

"What now?" JJ repeated. "You've spent the last ... 15 years?... of your life following every order that your husband gave you and letting him hit you any time you or your daughters, or anyone else for that matter, upset him in some way. He's just admitted to murdering four people. He's going to jail. What are you going to do now?"

"We'll wait" said Mrs McIninch, sounding worried.

"Why?" JJ asked, raising her voice. "This man has done nothing but cause you and your daughters pain and suffering. Why would you wait for him?"

"He's my husband" she answered simply.

"Look at you daughters" JJ shouted, a stray tear slipping down her cheek. "Look at them! He's not even here and he's causing them pain. Why do you think he wanted them here when I was reading the letter? It was one more way for him to exert control, to scare them. Why would you wait for a man who is causing your daughters so much pain?"

Realising that his colleague had crossed the line and was dangerously close to losing it altogether, Reid took a step forward and put his hand on her shoulder.

"JJ" he said warningly.

"No" JJ said firmly, "let me finish. I'm sure you know who my parents are Mrs McIninch. My mother has always stuck by my father, no matter how much pain he caused her, or me. She's had to live with my sister killing herself and, aside from this case, hasn't seen me in over 15 years. Is that what you want for you and your daughters?"

"I ... no, of course ... but ..." Mrs McIninch stuttered.

JJ walked over to the still sobbing girls sat on the sofa and handed copies of her contact card to both of them.

"I am really sorry girls" she said softly, kneeling in front of them. "I know that all of this must be really scary and I probably haven't made it any easier for you. I understand ... I really do. If you ever need to talk, you can call me on that number at any time. Do you understand?"

Reid watched as Jenna looked away from JJ and cuddled into her sister. Sophie, however, looked up at JJ and nodded slightly.

"Any time" JJ repeated as she stood up and walked back to the door.

The three adults silently made their way to the front door. As she stepped out onto the porch, JJ turned again and passed another card to Mrs McIninch.

"The same applies to you" she said gently.

Mrs McIninch looked shocked, but took the card and slipped it into her pocket before closing the door behind them. The two agents quickly walked to the car. Reid got into the driver's seat but, before he could start the engine felt JJ's hand on his, causing him to turn to look at her. He couldn't quite read her expression. It looked like her earlier anger had dissipated, but there was something dark lurking in her eyes which he couldn't quite figure out.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped the mark" JJ said to him, still avoiding his eyes.

"Don't apologise" Reid said firmly. "It may not have been the most professional thing that you've ever done, but they definitely needed to hear it."

"They aren't the only ones" JJ said darkly, and Reid could see the anger beginning to show again.

"What do you mean JJ?" he asked carefully.

"McIninch" she said simply. "He used me Reid. He used me to cause them pain. He knew how much that would upset them and he made me responsible for their pain."

"You are not responsible for that JJ" he said gently. "It was his decision to have them there. You can't blame yourself for that."

"I knew before I started how it would affect them, but I still did it" JJ said. "I need to speak to him Reid."

"I'm not sure that is such a good idea Jayje" he said with concern.

"Just take me back to the station" she said coldly, sitting back in her seat.

Realising that he wasn't going to get any further with her now, he decided to do as she asked and hoped that the rest of his team would have better luck.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Wow! This my first fic to hit 50 reviews. Thanks for the feedback! This is the penultimate chapter in this story. Enjoy!!**

Chapter 14

Rossi watched as Emily Prentiss nervously paced around the small room that had been set aside for their use in the East Allegheny PD. She had been pacing more or less constantly since Reid had left to collect JJ from the hotel room, pausing briefly when Morgan (strictly against doctor's orders) had joined them. He could see that both agents were on edge, anxiously waiting to see how JJ had coped with her meeting with Mrs McIninch. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't also worried. It didn't take a genius to see that JJ had been on the verge of collapse, even before McIninch's arrest. He and Hotch had agonised over whether to comply with his request that JJ collect his statement, finally deciding that they didn't have any other options.

Reid had called five minutes ago to say that they had left the house, but had been unable to say anything else since he had been in the car with JJ. Rossi could tell by the tone of his voice that it hadn't gone well. They had expected it to be difficult and he knew that JJ would be likely to have responded in one of three ways. It was possible that she had retrieved the statement with minimal problems, but that seemed unlikely given the tone of Reid's voice. She could have collapsed completely, finally giving in to the emotional breakdown which had been threatening to hit since the case had landed on her desk, or she could have exploded with anger; anger with McIninch for what he had done, anger with him and Hotch for putting her in this position and anger with herself for showing what she perceived to be weakness.

His musings were interrupted when JJ slammed into the police station, instantly demonstrating that she had indeed reacted with anger.

"I want to see him" she practically growled as she stormed to stand in front of Hotch. She was clearly furious.

"JJ ..." Hotch started calmly.

"Don't JJ me" she interrupted. "The bastard used me Hotch. I need to see him."

"JJ" Hotch tried again, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. "I really think you need to ..."

"Don't you dare tell me what I need to do" JJ yelled, shrugging away from his touch. "You sent me out there and let him use me to hurt his family. You have no right to tell me what to do."

Rossi saw Reid, Morgan and Prentiss making themselves scarce to give Hotch and JJ some privacy. It was clear that, in her anger, JJ had gone too far and that, since she had done so in the middle of a busy police station, Hotch was going to have to respond. Rossi stayed where he was, recognising that Hotch might need some support.

"You need to step back JJ" Hotch said firmly but calmly. "You're out of line."

"I'm out of line?" JJ said incredulously. "Have you got any ..."

"JJ" Rossi said quietly, realising that she wasn't going to respond to Hotch's warning. "You have every right to be angry with McIninch, but I think you need to give yourself a few minutes before you say something you might regret later."

JJ took a breath as if to speak again, before sighing deeply and turning to stomp out of the station. She was quickly followed by a worried looking Derek Morgan.

"What the hell happened?" Rossi asked, rounding on Reid. "You were supposed to get the statement and leave without her needing to read it."

"McIninch had other plans" Reid protested. "He left his wife with instructions. She would only give us the statement if JJ read it out loud in front of her and her daughters."

"Bastard" Rossi muttered under his breath.

"I'm assuming JJ read it out" Emily said. "Do you have it?"

Rossi watched as Reid opened his shoulder bag and pulled out McIninch's statement. As he read it Rossi could feel himself getting angry as he realised that McIninch had known exactly what buttons to press to really upset JJ. He had prayed on her insecurities about her childhood views and her ability to move forward from them and had reopened the raw emotional wounds from her sister's death. He had then gone on to leave his daughters with a legacy of guilt; something which he knew that JJ would both identify with and partly blame herself for.

"His daughters were there?" Prentiss asked. "How did they take it?"

"They were devastated, naturally" Reid answered simply.

"And JJ was furious" Hotch stated worriedly. "Do I need to expect a complaint?"

Reid looked thoughtful for a moment before answering.

"I don't think we'll get a complaint" Reid decided. "JJ challenged Mrs McIninch and was probably ... no definitely out of line, but I think she actually kind of accepted the wisdom of what JJ was saying."

"Which was?" Rossi prompted.

"JJ asked her what she was going to do next" Reid explained. "When she said she would wait for her husband, JJ asked her why she would wait for someone who caused her and her daughters so much pain. JJ offered all three of them her card and they all took it."

"What are you going to do Hotch?" Prentiss asked. "She's still going to want to see him."

"I think she should see him" Hotch answered. "He's more likely to play up to JJ and give her information and it will give her a sense of closure, but she needs to be calm when she does see him. If she loses it with him ... he's won."

Rossi nodded his agreement as they all turned to pack up their equipment, giving Morgan time to calm JJ down. After ten minutes everything was ready to be transported to the airstrip and Hotch had arranged for them to fly back to Quantico later that evening, giving them a few hours to tie up loose ends. They were talking quietly amongst themselves when Morgan and JJ walked back into the room.

"I'm really sorry Hotch" JJ said as soon as she walked in. "I had no right to talk to you like that."

"That's OK JJ" Hotch said with a small smile. "I've got a thick skin. I can take it."

JJ smiled weakly at Hotch's attempt at humour. Rossi could see that she had been crying, but that she was considerably calmer than she had been fifteen minutes earlier.

"What's the plan?" Morgan asked, turning to Hotch for an answer.

"Rossi and JJ will interview McIninch" Hotch explained. He looked JJ directly in the eye as he continued. "You need to be completely in control JJ. If he can see that he has affected you, he gets what he wants from all of this."

"I know" JJ said. "I can do this."

"We'll start in five minutes" Rossi said. "I'll start. We need to get him to confirm his statement on tape. Once I've done that you can have your say JJ."

JJ nodded and slipped out of the room to clean herself up in the rest room.

"Prentiss, go with her" Hotch ordered.

Prentiss nodded and followed JJ through the station, catching up with her just before she entered the rest room. Rossi smiled to himself as he saw the older agent put an arm around JJ's shoulders.

Five minutes later JJ re-emerged, looking considerably better, and joined Rossi at the door to the interview room where he had been waiting.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Rossi asked, giving JJ an opportunity to step back if she needed to.

"I'm fine" JJ said firmly.

"OK then, let's get this over with" he replied.

Rossi opened the door and let JJ enter the room first, consciously placing her in a position of power. They both sat down before Rossi placed McIninch's statement on the table and silently turned on the recording equipment.

"Agent Rossi," McIninch greeted him arrogantly, "and Jennifer. It's lovely to see you both again."

Rossi could see JJ's jaw tighten at his greeting, but she didn't respond, obviously not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

"That's Agent Jareau to you" Rossi said, before pushing the statement towards McIninch. "Do you recognise this?"

"I do" McIninch answered. "It is my letter to Agent Jareau here."

"Can you confirm, on tape, that this was written by you and is a true statement of fact?" Rossi asked.

"I can" McIninch confirmed.

"For the record I need you to read out the statement, before signing and dating it" Rossi explained.

McIninch took the letter and smiled, looking directly at JJ. As he read the statement confidently, he frequently brought his eyes back to JJ, smiling arrogantly as he read. Rossi was amazed that JJ never once flinched from his gaze, although he could see what McIninch couldn't; that the fist of JJ's good hand was clenched so tightly that she nearly drawing blood with her nails.

McIninch finished reading and signed the statement with a flourish. Without saying a word, Rossi took the statement back, placed it in an evidence bag and turned the recording equipment off.

"Is there anything you'd like to add Agent Jareau?" he asked, unconsciously taking JJ's right hand in his own as a gesture of support.

"There is just one thing that I want him to understand" JJ said, not addressing McIninch, but talking to him indirectly through Rossi, who smiled when he realised what she was doing. "I am not the one who has been fooled by any kind of propaganda. I had the intelligence and independence to fight against the lies and propaganda that **he** still believes in."

As she said this, she allowed herself to look at McIninch, absolute disgust written all over her face, before turning back to Rossi.

"I'm not pretending to believe anything" she continued. "I fought hard for my beliefs, unlike **this idiot**, who has killed four people based on the bullshit that his parents indoctrinated him with."

As McIninch began to protest, JJ rose out of her seat.

"We're done here" she said, walking towards the door.

When she reached the door, she stopped and turned round, finally addressing McIninch.

"I am going to make sure you never see your daughters again" she said icily, staring him down. "I am going to make sure they understand what a brainwashed, cowardly, evil man their father is."

"You bitch" McIninch screamed, struggling against the cuffs that held him to the table.

Smiling, Rossi drew JJ out of the room and closed the door.

"That was genius" he exclaimed. "Absolute genius!"

"What was?" Reid asked as they reached the team.

"JJ seriously knocked him off his perch" Rossi said, smiling.

"You can tell us about it later" Hotch said, looking anxiously at JJ.

For the first time since leaving the interview room Rossi turned to look at JJ. He immediately cursed himself for not keeping a closer eye on her. She was extremely pale and her hands were shaking.

"Are you OK Jayje?" Prentiss asked, carefully putting a supportive arm around her friend's shoulders.

"I'm fine" JJ said, obviously trying to look like she was in control. "Let's get out of this place."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N So, this is the last chapter! I honestly thought I was never going to get to the end of this one...**

Chapter 15

JJ sat on her bed at the hotel, leaning back against the pillows. The team had come back to the hotel to pack so that they could make their way to the airstrip where the jet was already waiting for them. JJ had finished packing a few minutes earlier and was waiting for Emily to finish so that they could walk down to the cars together. She was absolutely exhausted, the case having taken its toll both physically and emotionally. She had expected to feel better after her encounter with McIninch, but only felt drained and disappointed. She knew she had got the better of him in the interview, but gained no sense of victory from that fact. She felt like she had been left with too much unfinished business from the whole situation. She knew that someone had posted bail for her Father, meaning that he was probably already back to making her Mother's life a living hell. The 'law enforcement' part of her knew that her Mother was unlikely to ever leave the relationship, whilst the 'daughter' part desperately wanted it to be a possibility. She was also desperately worried about McIninch's family. She had heard nothing from them since she had left their house and she knew that, as much as McIninch was an evil bastard, he had been everything to his wife for half of her life and JJ wasn't sure that the woman would be able to fend for herself.

"Penny for them" she heard Emily say, jolting her out of her thoughts.

"They're not worth it" she replied, giving Emily a smile, trying to ease the concern that she could see in her friend's eyes. "Are you ready to go?"

"Uh huh" Emily answered, collecting both of their go-bags as she walked towards the door. "Let's go."

She stopped short when she heard a timid knock on the door. JJ watched as Emily checked the spy-hole and turned round, the concern etched even more clearly on her face.

"It's your Mom" she said quietly.

"Is she OK?" JJ asked worriedly, her mind automatically turning to her memories of the last time she had tried to press charges against her Father.

"She looks OK to me" Emily said. "What do you want to do?"

Ever hopeful that her Mom might finally be seeing sense, JJ asked Emily to let her in.

"Do you want me to wait downstairs?" Emily asked, with her hand resting on the door handle.

"Could you stay?"JJ responded, realising that she may need Emily's support over the next few minutes.

Nodding her silent support, Emily opened the door and stepped back, leaving JJ face-to-face with her Mother. JJ quickly looked over her Mom and was relieved to see that there appeared to be no new injuries.

"Mom" she greeted her; "why don't you come in?"

Her Mom smiled nervously before walking into the room and sitting beside JJ on the bed. Emily stayed standing by the door.

"We heard you'd been injured" JJ's Mom said, looking pointedly at JJ's arm. "Are you OK?"

"Oh please" JJ snorted, surprised at her own anger. "We both know I survived much worse at Dad's hands."

"Jennifer," her Mom said with a warning tone, "your Father ..."

"Don't even go there" JJ interrupted angrily. "Is that why you're here? To make more excuses for him? To try to convince me, yet again, that he didn't mean it; that I should drop the charges?"

"I ..." her Mom stuttered.

"God, it is!" JJ exclaimed. "He's sent you here, hasn't he?"

"You know what he's like Jennifer" her Mom pleaded. "You were really rude to him and he just lost his temper. He shouldn't be punished for that."

"So it's my fault again is it?" JJ shouted, standing up, truly furious now.

"JJ" she heard Emily say softly, before feeling her friend place a calming hand on her arm.

JJ turned to face Emily and then followed her gaze to look directly at her Mother, who was cowering away from her on the edge of the bed. Realising that she had actually managed to terrify her Mom, she took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. She then sat down next to her Mother and used her good hand to grasp one of her Mother's hands gently.

"I'm sorry" she said gently as her Mom turned to look at her. "You're not the person I really want to be shouting at. I shouldn't be taking this out on you, but you need to realise that this is never going to stop if you keep letting him get away with it."

"You know it's not that easy" her Mom said, pain filled eyes gazing at JJ.

"I know it's not Mom" JJ said soothingly, "but you can move on. You could leave him. You could come to DC to live with me or, if that's too far, you could go to Aunt Kate in North Mammon."

"I can't" her Mom said, with tears in her eyes. "You know I can't."

"I don't know that at all Mom" JJ said firmly. "It wouldn't be easy, but you could do it ... If you wanted to."

"He's my husband" her Mom said simply. "I love him."

JJ sighed, realising that this conversation was going in the same direction that it always did.

"But does he love you?" she said.

"Of course he does" her Mom argued.

"Then why does he cause you so much pain?" JJ asked, even as she recognised that she was getting nowhere. "If someone loves you they try to protect you from pain, not cause it."

"You don't understand" her Mom said dismissively. "Nobody does."

"You're right Mom" JJ said with resignation, reaching into her pocket to collect a copy of her card. "I don't understand and I don't think I ever will, but I am here for you if you need anything. You can call me any time."

"I do need something from you Jennifer" her Mom said. "I need you to drop the charges against your Father."

"No Mom" JJ said, working hard to control her anger. "That isn't what you need, it's what he wants."

"But you know what will happen if you don't" her Mom was back to pleading. "You know he will hurt me."

"Don't try to put that on me again Mom" JJ said, a tear escaping down her cheek. "It is not my fault that he hits you. That is all on him."

"But, if you can stop it?" she practically begged.

"I might be able to stop it this time" JJ said, crying despite herself, "but that will only make it worse next time when he can't blame it on me."

"But..."

"No" JJ said with finality. She stood up and offered her card to her Mom. "Call me if you change your mind, but I am not going down this route again. I can't."

Defeated, JJ's Mom reluctantly took the card, slipping it into her pocket before turning to leave.

"Mom" JJ said tearfully as her Mom opened the door. "Aunt Kate has all of my contact details. If you lose my card, you can contact me through her."

Without acknowledging this, JJ's Mom walked out of the door and down the corridor. JJ and Emily stood in silence for a moment, JJ trying desperately to stem her tears. As Emily turned to put an arm around her, JJ hastily wiped the tears away and stepped back.

"Let's go" she said, knowing that she would fall apart if Emily hugged her.

JJ watched as realisation dawned on Emily's face and she was once again glad that she worked with profilers. Without talking, they both made their way down to the foyer where the men were already waiting for them.

"Was that your Mom I just saw?" Derek asked as they joined the group.

JJ nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Emily shaking her head at Derek, obviously warning him off. Derek nodded and made no further comment. The rest of the team talked and joked on their way to the SUVs while JJ followed silently behind. She deliberately avoided the SUV that Emily, Derek and Rossi had commandeered, travelling instead with Hotch and Reid. The journey to the airstrip was quiet, with the two men discussing another case that they had consulted on recently. JJ sat in the back of the car, taking the time she needed to rebuild her defences. She already had a killer headache from holding back the tears, but she did feel more in control by the time they had reached their destination. She was, however, absolutely exhausted and couldn't wait to get on the jet so that she could get some sleep.

Once they were on the jet, Derek suggested that JJ get comfortable on the couch. She didn't argue, grateful that she had been given the chance to get some sleep. Unfortunately, 20 minutes into the flight, sleep proved to be elusive for her. As hard as she tried, she couldn't switch her mind off. The events of the last few days played round and round in her head, making her headache even worse. She sighed deeply and sat up, giving up on sleep and hoping to find a diversion. Just as she was about to challenge Reid to a game of gin, her phone rang. She checked the caller ID and didn't recognise the number. Her heart jumped slightly when she thought of the four people that she had recently given her details to.

"Agent Jareau" she said as she answered the call.

"Hello? Agent Jareau?" answered a small and uncertain voice. "This is Sophie McIninch. You said I could call you?"

"Hi Sophie" JJ said softly. "I'm so glad you called me. How are you doing?"

"I'm OK" Sophie said, not sounding entirely sure of that fact. "Mom called Auntie Louise and we're staying with her and Uncle Alex for a while."

"Is that a good thing?" JJ asked, feeling hopeful for the first time in days.

"Really good" Sophie said. "Auntie Louise makes Mom smile."

"That is good" JJ said cautiously. "What about you and Jenna? Are you happy staying with her?"

"We haven't met her before today" Sophie said, also sounding cautious, "but she seems really nice."

"So what is it that's worrying you Sophie?" JJ asked, since Sophie's tone had remained guarded throughout the conversation.

There was a long pause before Sophie answered.

"Agent Jareau?" Sophie started hesitantly, the fear clear in her voice.

"You can call me JJ sweetheart" JJ said in what she hoped was a calming tone.

"JJ?" Sophie started again, obviously crying. "Did my Dad kill all of those people because of me? Is it my fault?"

"Oh sweetheart" JJ said emphatically. "Of course it isn't your fault. You didn't do anything to cause this."

"But he said in the letter that he did it for us, for me and Jenna" Sophie sobbed.

"He just used that as an excuse" JJ said comfortingly. "There are all sorts of reasons why your Dad did the things he did honey, but none of them have anything to do with you."

"Are you sure?" Sophie asked, now only sniffling instead of sobbing.

"I'm positive" JJ said, hoping that she had calmed Sophie's fears.

"Thank you JJ" Sophie said, sounding calmer. "My Auntie is here and she'd like to speak to you. Is that OK?"

"Of course," JJ said, "and Sophie ... Please call me if you need anything else."

"I will JJ. Thanks" Sophie said, before handing the phone over to her Aunt.

"Agent Jareau?" a woman asked. "This is Louise Moore. I'm Johanna's sister. I really just wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?" JJ questioned. "For what?"

"For getting rid of James" Louise answered. "For convincing her to move on. I've been trying to get her away from him for nearly 15 years, but she just wouldn't listen to reason."

"I know how that feels" JJ said sardonically.

"I know you do Agent Jareau" Louise said hesitantly. "I was a friend of your sister."

"Oh" JJ said, momentarily speechless. Her reaction had obviously been noticed as Derek moved to sit beside her. "I'm sorry. I don't really remember..."

"I didn't expect you to remember Agent Jareau" Louise said softly. "It was a long time ago. I just wanted to thank you for giving Sophie and Jenna the chance that you and Maddie never had."

JJ barely held it together as she finished the call, bursting into tears as soon as Louise said goodbye. With the rest of the team looking on in concern, JJ explained to Derek what had been said. When she had finished talking he pulled her into a hug and talked her down from her storm of tears. She wasn't entirely sure why she had been crying, but she did know that she felt a hell of alot better for it. As JJ listened to Morgan calmly telling her that she was fine; that she had done alot of good for alot of people, she slowly dropped off to sleep still wrapped in his arms and feeling more content than she had done in days.


End file.
